Gentle Healing 2 ~ Day 300 – Looking at the False “I” Thought

Today’s message begins:

It’s time to go beyond everything you’ve learned.

Everything you’ve learned has been helpful. It’s been helpful toward willingness to take this next step. But without the step that we are taking together now, all that you’ve learned serves no real purpose toward awakening.

We have learned so much since we began Gentle Healing 678 days ago. It’s been an amazing journey of learning. Yet, today we step beyond all of that by becoming aware of just how addicted we are to mind.

This is a very, very important step.

I’ve never taken a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous, but what I understand from friends who have been part of a 12-step program is this:

Admitting that there is a very serious problem—an addiction—that you cannot control is a critical first step if you are going to heal.

This first step isn’t an intellectual first step. It’s a deep, deep realization. For an alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict or gambler, it might come about when they finally do something far below anything they ever thought they were capable of, something so severe that it wakes them up in a very deep way to the realization that there is a problem and they do need help.

One purpose of the practices of Inner Ramana is to help us have that same very deep realization about our addiction to mental chatter. Fortunately, we do not have to do something horrible and extreme to finally have that realization. We simply have to practice as Inner Ramana asks us to practice.

I want to alert you that if you practice Inner Ramana well, mental chatter may become extremely uncomfortable. It might seem like it’s getting worse. It’s not getting worse; you are simply becoming more aware of it than ever before. You are beginning to really see  the problem—the addiction to ego.

As today’s reading says, without this step everything we’ve learned in the last 678 days serves no real purpose toward awakening.

Today, you are asked to say the mantra whenever you notice mental chatter, and then…

“with the coolness (maturity) of the quieted mind, look back at what the mind was telling you while you were listening to its chatter. Look for the “I” or “me” in the story or thought. Discover how the tricks and tumbles of the mind … in whatever direction it was turning in the moment …; notice how it was telling you about “I” or “me” separate from everything else.

On Day 286, we learned what learning is. When we learn, awareness pays attention to what is being learned, and it programs the learning into the brain.

So here’s what’s about to happen: We are going to learn to see the ego like we’ve never seen it before. Awareness will program that ability to see chatter into the brain, and we will begin to see more. As that seeing-program becomes more and more developed in the brain, we will see more and more, until we are seeing so much ego in our own mind that it is shocking! And that’s where the genuinely deep realization that we need help will come from—from seeing.

You aren’t going to have to wake up naked in a cemetery smelling like whiskey to realize that you need help, but you may feel just as shaken by the depth of your addiction.

Here’s something else we learned on Day 286:

As we learn, awareness sorts through previous programming in the brain to see if something is useful in the current situation. If so, it forms a relationship in the brain between the new programming and the prior programming.

In the last 678 days, you’ve been exposed to a lot of useful right-minded teachings. As you begin to see the ego and your addicted dependence on the ego, awareness will form relationships in the brain between those right-minded teachings and the seeing that is occurring. As these relationships are formed, you will begin to have insights.

An insight is a deep intuitive understanding. It is more than mere intellectual understanding. In other words, the teachings that have been previously learned will strike you in a new way, in a way that is genuine—authentically clear, real and directly meaningful.

So, today we begin to go beyond everything we’ve learned into an entirely new level of learning.

Note: Since this level of learning is new, at first you may not be good at it. You may not see mental chatter well at all. In fact, your first insight might be just how much you don’t  notice all of the chatter you are listening to.

Remember that awareness is programming the brain as you try to see chatter, and keep trying. As that program is more developed, seeing will happen more easily and naturally. So keep at it. This is one of the most important things you’ve ever done.