Gentle Healing 2 ~ Day 127: NTI Acts 19 (v1-7) -(v11-22)

Note: If desired, watch all of Acts 19 from the Visual Bible movie, Acts.

NTI teaches that there are four phases to the human journey known as the spiritual path. Those four phases are:

1. The Search (NTI Acts 19)
2. Purification (NTI Acts 20-21)
3. Service & Merging (NTI Acts 22)
4. True Perception/Enlightenment (NTI 1 Corinthians 15-16)

The fifth phase is not designated as a phase in NTI. That’s because a phase is something one passes through as part of a process. The fifth phase, which is not a phase at all, is awakening to the First Principle of God.

Today’s reading introduces the first phase in the awakening process, which is the search. Most of you (if not all of you) have already passed through this phase. However, you can experience some lingering phase one residue, like believing some people have clarity that you do not have within yourself. For that reason, it is helpful to read about the first phase carefully to find what’s helpful in the reading for you.

I would like to share a brief story about how I crossed over from phase one to phase two.

Like nearly everyone in phase one, I thought a teacher outside of me would be able to give me everything I needed to become enlightened myself. I came across a teacher that I believed was enlightened, and I became a part of his inner circle. From within the inner circle, I saw that things were not as they appeared from the outside.

As it turns out, he was a controlling and manipulative person. He appeared to have three primary desires: he wanted followers, property and money. He talked about these three often. He also pressured the people within the inner circle in order to achieve these goals. For example, he expected his followers to sell their personal property and donate all of the money to his foundation. If a follower chose not to do so, he told stories about that follower to others, making it appear that one was clinging to ego. It was all very manipulative. I watched as people gave everything they had to him, not because they felt guided to, but because they finally gave in to the pressure and manipulation.

During my time with this teacher, I did not give in to the pressure that he put upon me. I always followed my intuition. However, that meant that he and I came face-to-face more than once regarding a command that I would not give in to. In the end, he made it clear that he wanted me to forgo my inner guidance and follow his directions without questioning them. I knew I had to part ways with him, and I did.

It was right for me to stick with my inner guidance instead of giving in to pressure. It wasn’t easy to do, because the ego whispered, “What if he is right, and you are just clinging to ego?” Those whispers came from my sense of unworthiness and from the idea that he had something I did not have. Fortunately, I did not listen to those ideas.

The mistake I made was holding a grievance against this teacher for a few years after leaving his organization. That’s the reason I am telling this story. Today’s reading says:

Do not make the mistake of judging messages or teachers that are not for you. … Trust in Me and remember all things work together for God.

“All things work together for God” means that all things are for the healing of the Son of God, including a spiritual teacher with impure motives.

How is a manipulative and impure teacher part of our awakening to consciousness?

For me, he was a darkness catcher. I am a healing/awakening point in consciousness. My job is to purify the light of any darkness that comes my way by letting it purify in me. If I choose to hold a grievance against him, I am not doing my job.

It is as A Course in Miracles  says:

The sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the atonement for himself.

It was difficult for me to let go of my grievance against the teacher in my story, because I had a belief that leaders should demonstrate the highest ethical standards. That was one of my mind-made laws. However, as we learned on Day 99, mind-made laws are ego devices that:

1. Give us a sense of identity.
2. Provide a basis for judgment and separation.

Mind-made laws are  darkness. I needed  someone to catch that darkness and toss it to me so I could heal it. This teacher did that perfectly, and I did finally heal it completely, so I am grateful to him.

NTI Matthew 18 says:

You will know that your forgiveness is complete when you love your brother with your whole heart and soul and mind, just as the angels do.

I still see that teacher every now and then. Our paths cross, usually when we are speaking at the same spiritual conference or retreat. When I do see him, I find that my heart is completely open towards him. I love him in the same way that I love my biological brother. It’s nice to see him from time-to-time. We don’t have much in common, so there isn’t much to say, but we can embrace each other, and the embrace is genuine.

Has he changed? Not that I know of, but I don’t follow him closely enough to know for sure. However, it’s important to know that my love for him has nothing to do with whether he has “cleaned up his act” or not. If it did, it wouldn’t be true forgiveness.

He is allowed to be exactly as he is. His choices do not affect my love. That’s how I know my love is pure.

The reality is consciousness. The destination for everyone is awakening, and everything along the way is perfect as it is. It is all a part of the healing/awakening process.