There are many tools we can use to bring us back to centeredness or help us to feel relief in moments of chaos, confusion, pain or any kind of upset or unbalance. Self-inquiry is one of those tools that returns to my awareness ever so often and I am reminded of its helpfulness. My first introduction to self-inquiry was with ‘The Work of Byron Katie.’ I have also spent time at Diederik Wolsak’s retreat center in Costa Rica where they use similar processes in questioning beliefs to remember the true Self.
If you’re reading this, you are most likely already familiar, but if not, one of the basic processes of self-inquiry is questioning our thoughts and asking whether or not they are true. Ramana Maharshi states that it is the constant attention to the inner awareness of “I” or “I am.” The last year or more has been difficult for many and I personally found myself avoiding my feelings and thoughts. Isolation while experiencing depression, without self-inquiry, made things very difficult for me. I tend to make things complicated when I forget simple tools. I have known for a long time that my thoughts can make me sick. I once went to a doctor who told me I needed to work on my nervous system to handle my stress. I continued to learn how my thoughts were directly linked to me physically.
Spiritual author Scott Kiloby speaks on how our thoughts connect to our nervous system. He says “To regulate your nervous system using inquiry, keep your attention in your body throughout your day. When you feel anxious, upset or triggered, put the feeling into words, rest and allow (witness) the words.” When I read this, I remembered suddenly to come back to my awareness. Where was my attention? What were my thoughts, especially the repetitive ones? My thoughts become and stem from my beliefs about myself. I notice that I have the same recurring thoughts and beliefs about myself at the core. They usually sound like “I am not good enough,” “I am failing,” “I’m going to lose everything,” “I have done something wrong,” and it goes on and on and on. It is no surprise I have been depressed and exhausted. These thoughts and beliefs are defeating – especially because they are not true.
We can be aware of our thoughts; it is the follow-through that becomes most effective, which is to undo them. Byron Katie uses questions like “Who would I be without this thought?” She also uses ‘turn arounds’ wherein one changes the thought by reversing it thus giving a different perspective. Diederik Wolsak’s process involves bringing one’s awareness to the feeling that overcomes them the most and then to the memory of the first time they felt that way. From there, the person can question the truth of the belief they have about themselves. I worked in circles with others where we helped each other undo false beliefs and remember the truth instead.
For the last few days, as I remember, I have been practicing self-inquiry by trying to have more awareness of my feelings. When I feel tired, when I feel pain, when I feel worry, when I feel tension in my face, I pause for a moment. I ask myself how I feel. I ask myself what the thought is behind that feeling. I then ask if that thought is true. Is this really what I believe? Even without the answer, there is some relief. A space is created in the mind. A grasping of the belief is let go. I can then think of what I would choose to believe instead. What is the real truth? Who am I really? I usually tend towards making a list of things I am grateful for and who and what I appreciate in my life and myself. The truth will surface. Gradually I can see myself go from an unmotivated low energy to feeling okay again and even feel some inspiration.
For anyone who is suffering or upset in the least bit, self-inquiry may be a tool to remember to put into practice. A Course in Miracles says “There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind.” It does not matter how small the upset seems to be, self-inquiry can help. I hope that I can remember to use these techniques more frequently to prevent myself from falling deeper into non-truth. My thoughts create beliefs that affect all parts of my life, mentally, physically, emotionally and also affect what actions I take now and in the future. The teachers I listed above are great resources to go deeper into self-inquiry although I am sure most people reading this are familiar. Thank you for reading and wishing you the truest thoughts and relief from belief.
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