In my teachings, I have shared many times that I used “helpful self-talk” in order to move through the purification process and allow healing to occur. I call this self-talk process, “active resting from the mind.” In other words, I didn’t want to listen to or believe the wrong mind, but often the emotions were intense and the mind was promising that it knew the answer. It was easy to slip into listening to and believing the mind. So, I needed an active way of resting from the mind. Self-talk was that active way of resting.

Recently someone asked me to share some of the self-talk that I used when going through purification. Here are some of the self-talk messages that I remember using frequently:

Breathe.

This story in the mind is the cause of my upset. I can let go of listening to this story.

This is coming up now because I want healing. I will stay out of the way and let this feeling/belief arise so it can be healed.

I want truth/awakening more than I want to take control.

This too shall pass.

If I wait and do nothing, this will pass and clarity/willingness will return.

If I act on this fear/guilt/unworthiness, I will only reinforce it. I do not want to reinforce it, so I will not do what mind is telling me to do.

In my defenselessness my safety lies.

If I defend myself, I am defending a false self as if it is me. I want to realize my true Self, so I will not prop up this false self with defense.

If I cling to this personal value, I cling to the personal self. I want to be free of the personal self and know truth, so I will not cling to this value.

If I believe these thoughts I cling to attack/fear/guilt/hate/unworthiness/worry. I do not want to cling to that, so I will let go of these thoughts.

I believe I am guilty but the Holy Spirit says I am innocent. I choose to trust the Holy Spirit more than me.

I believe that fear will kill me, but fear will not kill me. It is just energy in the body. I can watch this energy without interfering, and I will be safe.

I want awakening more than I want safety/to be liked/things my way.

I am willing to let everyone abandon me if that is to happen. Awakening is my priority.

I am willing to let everyone believe false stories about me/misunderstand me if that is how it is going to be. Awakening is my priority.

I want to follow intuition more than I want what I think I want.

Surrendering to this moment as it is, is the highest form of devotion.

Let it be.

Be quiet and be undone.

Etc.

On February 27th I was honored to become an ordained Awakening Together Minister. My certificate says that I completed 72 weeks of classroom study, and I remember somewhere in that long stretch of weeks that we can get attached to concepts that often lead us astray as we travel our spiritual paths. Before I started the Minister Preparation Program (MPP) my concept of being a minister held that I had to somehow maintain a level of purity in the classical sense of being sinless. As I progressed through the course I often ran up against this concept and felt like an outsider that would eventually be discovered and publically scorned for aspiring to become something that I could never be because of my sinful secrets.

Needless to say, and as a great comfort to me, this concept is gone. Why is it gone? It is gone because I learned from my classmates and our teacher that our feeling of unworthiness is a common core belief we all have, and during those 72 weeks the awakening to our reality dissolves the concepts we held when we entered the program.

Upon my signing up for the program I mentioned to Regina I was not necessarily interested in becoming a minister and I can now see where that resistance came from. Now that I have finished the course I am beginning to feel quite proud of my accomplishment and my new title. I am awakening to the understanding that as I minister I am providing the ministered and myself the opportunity to awaken to our reality. The teacher is also the student.

The Minister Preparation Program is clearly a gift to anyone seeking to come to know themselves and I cannot give enough thanks and kudos to Regina for being the instrument that brought this program to fruition. It was extremely interesting, educational, and deeply spiritual.

Have I reached the pinnacle of purity? Hardly. Even as I seek to allow these words to flow from spirit I sit in the suffering of this physical body. Even as I have experienced overwhelming emotions of love during the 72 weeks, I still experience suffering from this defective sack of skin and bones. I have highs and lows, the highs coming from guiding people to the truth of their being to the lows of the constant reminder of physical suffering. Who, therefore is the minister? Can I be both a minister of truth and a suffering human being? Only if I maintain my belief I am this body. It is of course not enough to adopt the belief we are not this body, but quite another to come to know this.

There are more than a few of us that entered the MPP with physical defects that we live with daily or moment to moment. It is probably why we are on this spiritual path as we seek relief from our suffering. All of us come to the realization that books, words on paper, hours of classroom, do not alleviate us from this suffering and we often grow despondent. Where is our refuge, our relief, our healing that is promised if we simply forgive? Our healing comes from our ministering to others, our service to others, which leads us away from self to knowing Self. I know this to be true because when I am in service to others I feel only joy, and when I am not, I feel only suffering.

Be a minister to yourself first and then you will become a true minister to others.