Lesson 26, My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability

Today’s workbook lesson says, “…what would have effects through you must also have effects on you. It is this law that will ultimately save you, but you are misusing it now. You must therefore learn how it can be used for your own best interests.”

This is referring to the Law of Love, which we learned about in NTI Ephesians last week. The mind receives an idea. If we cast attention on it, we activate it and deliver it to our oneness (which ACIM calls projection). What we deliver, we also receive.

That can also be summed up with, “What I think I see (project); What I see, I experience; What I experience, I think.” Etc.

Let’s first review the law of Love then we’ll look at how the attack thoughts are simply a misuse of the law.  Regina Dawn Akers describes the law in this way: “Love is Spirit giving to Spirit, through Spirit, that which Spirit requests.” NTI Ephesians reminds us that although we think of ourselves as separate from one another, we are one through the law of Love:

Through this law, the ones that seem many are one.  And in fact, they have always been one, as they are bound as one through the law. … Through Christ all are bound together and there is no separateness, this is the law of Love.  This is what you are.  You are inseparable from it.

In teaching us this lesson, Jesus specifically points to what the Course calls attack thoughts. Attack thoughts are very simply a way of maintaining your belief in yourself as a separate individual. By projecting my attack thoughts onto something or someone “outside of me,” I continue to create a world where I am both guilty of and subject to attack. Thus, Jesus points out that my attack thoughts cause me to fear attacks. This is the misuse of the law of Love.

Because your attack thoughts will be projected, you will fear attack. And if you fear attack, you must believe that you are not invulnerable. Attack thoughts therefore make you vulnerable in your own mind, which is where the attack thoughts are. Attack thoughts and invulnerability cannot be accepted together. They contradict each other.

As we saw in the tip for yesterday’s lesson, everything is for my own best interest.  When we withdraw the meaning we would give, we find that everything that happens within the tapestry of this world is all being used to bring remembrance of the one true desire, which is to recognize that which we are.  And not to get too circular, but that which we are is the law of Love or inseparable oneness!

Okay, but what do the practice lessons have to do with attack thoughts and my vulnerability? Jesus tells us:

Practice with today’s idea will help you to understand that vulnerability or invulnerability is the result of your own thoughts. Nothing except your thoughts can attack you. Nothing except your thoughts can make you think you are vulnerable. And nothing except your thoughts can prove to you this is not so.

If we do the lesson and do it thoroughly, we will find out that our misplaced and projected fears are going to show us how we are attacking ourselves.  Mine went something like this:  I’m concerned that it is raining again today.  I am afraid that if it continues to rain like it has for the past month it will only exacerbate the problems we are having at work with supplying wooden pallets and products to our customers. The customers are already shouting from the roof tops, “You aren’t giving me all I need as fast as I need it!” I’m afraid the stress of trying to decide which customers should have their orders filled and which customers will have to wait and the work and decision making that scenario entails would put my management employees over the top.  I’m afraid those employees might quit.  I am afraid I couldn’t operate the business without them.  I am afraid I’m not good enough to continue the business in their absence. I’m afraid I’m not good enough.

You see, I blamed (attacked) everything and everyone from the rain, to my customers, to my people in management for my own thoughts of vulnerability.  This blame, attack or judgement “that you make assumes something within illusion is real. Judgement accepts as real and then separates.”

NTI Luke 6 tells us how to escape this loop of attack and defense:

The world is a great temptation for you, because the world was made as a distraction from truth.  Everything in the world is not truth, and yet you want to make sense of it and make it real.  To the degree that you can let go of the world and not be concerned about  it, that is to the degree that you can accept healing.  And to the degree that you are involved in the world and taking care of its many problems, that is to the degree that you reject healing as the answer to its problems.

Healing comes from pulling back and dis-identifying from those attack thoughts (resting, accepting and trusting).  It is coming to know these attack thoughts aren’t real thoughts.  They are just misplaced, projected thoughts that we have about ourselves because we believe we are separate.  Because our true identity is in our oneness as the Son of God, we receive as we ask. With this knowledge, we have both the motivation and the tools needed to escape from the cycle of attack and defense.

LESSON 25. I do not know what anything is for.

Today’s lesson begins:

Purpose is meaning. Today’s idea explains why nothing you see means anything. You do not know what it is for. Therefore, it is meaningless to you. Everything is for your own best interests. That is what it is for; that is its purpose; that is what it means. It is in recognizing this that your goals become unified. It is in recognizing this that what you see is given meaning.

This lesson brings together the lessons that told us nothing that I see has any meaning, I am upset because I see something that is not there, I see only the past, etc., and yesterday’s lesson which informed us that we don’t know what is in our own best interests. Doing these lessons again, I am so surprised that they seem to say what I had not seen before. I was surprised, therefore, to find out today that everything is for my own best interests. When I withdraw the meaning I would give, I find that everything that happens within the tapestry of this world is all being used to bring me to remembrance of my true desire.

As we learned in NTI Ephesians, we are awakening to our own true desire, while the remnants of a past thought seem to be in operation. We are letting go of our old desire–to experience something other than truth–and reclaiming our true desire, which is to recognize that which we are. This recognition unifies our myriad goals.

Let’s talk about ego goals for a moment. What could the ego ever want but to keep you safe and loved and happy. That’s what we all want, right? There can be no fault found in wanting such things, correct? Well, yes, however … ego’s goals are based on the belief that you and I could have goals that conflict; they are based on the belief that what is in my best interests may not also be in your best interests. If we were, indeed, separate beings, this would make sense. What we must understand is that we do not have separate interests. You are safe and loved and happy. We all are. Our unified purpose is to come to the recognition that this is true–that safety and love and happiness are inherent in what we are. I need not (and indeed, cannot) find safety and love and happiness at your expense. It is only the belief that these things are limited that conjures up a world where I have to “get mine before you get yours.” It is this distortion within which ego operates. There is no separate you and me who are in competition for a limited supply of something. This is, however, always ego’s interpretation.

NTI Luke 6 says:

The world is a great temptation for you, because the world was made as a distraction from truth. Everything in the world is not truth, and yet you want to make sense of it and make it real. To the degree that you can let go of the world and not be concerned about it, that is to the degree that you accept healing. And to the degree that you are involved in the world and taking care of its many problems, that is to the degree that you reject healing as the answer to its problems.

It is within the world that you seem to be, so it is within the world that I come to lead you. But I ask you to look at the world differently now. No longer accept that there is a “you” and a “them” who is separate from you. This is the view the ego has of the world.

I am reminded of Charles Darwin who wrote of the great mystery and majesty of the earth’s animals. He told of how the herds and prides and flocks move in harmony with no visible communication between the animals. He spoke repeatedly about love and sympathy as forces that consistently moved the creatures of the earth. Is this the legacy that has been assigned to him? No. His work has been filtered through ego interpretation to mean that under the law of “Survival of the Fittest,” I must get mine before you get yours.

It is this habitual orientation and misunderstanding of the truth of our oneness that prevents us from detecting our own best interests in any given situation. As NTI Luke tells us, “Everything that you see and experience, you see and experience through the filter of your mind.” Thoughts of lack, limitation, separateness and competition form the filter through which we see. So what is blocked? How is the world seen truly? That answer is given in NTI Luke 6:

My view is that the world is all one song with different notes played in harmony to create the one. It is the song that is cherished, not the notes. And the song is being played perfectly by Me, who is the director of the music. If you look at the song from My point of view, you see its beauty and perfection. But if you look at the song from the point of view of one note, who believes it is separate and competing with other notes, the song seems to be a war filled with attack and grievance and worry.

Remember that you are not the note. That is a distorted view of the music. We are the song as one sound together.

Love the entire song. Every aspect is equally important to the whole, every aspect valuable and cherished for its part in it. Share the perspective of the song by seeing yourself as the song and by loving the entire song, just as it is, without judgment or desire that the song should be played differently.

This is peace; this is happiness; this is love. This is who we are. We are learning to release the filter that would say otherwise.

Lesson 24, I do not perceive my own best interest.

In this lesson, I do not perceive my own best interest, Jesus is restating the same idea that he has taught in many of the preceding lessons:

What I see is a form of vengeance

I am determined to see things differently

I see no neutral things

I have no neutral thoughts

He is letting us know that we have a perceptual problem.  Jesus counsels that “we have no guide to appropriate action” because we are relying on our own perception and “that perception is wrong.”

In NTI Luke 5, the Holy Spirit uses equally direct language, saying, “Things are not as they seem. This is why I ask you to trust Me and follow Me. I know how things are. You are blind to these facts, for you only know what you think you know, and that is nothing but a deep and burdensome slumber.”

In today’s lesson, Jesus states, “If you realized that you do not perceive your own best interests, you could be taught what they are.  But in the presence of your conviction that you do know what they are, you cannot learn.”

When I read NTI Luke again, I heard the Holy Spirit say in a commanding voice, “Step away from the mind Lady and I will show you what you don’t think is possible and prove to you that it is true.” Wow, I had better be about the lesson and let the Holy Spirit prove his point.  So my workbook exercise went something like this:

In the situation involving my desire to retire from the family business and my daughter Katy’s potential to take over, I would like to see Katy more involved. I would like proof that she has the interest to run an enterprise that has so many intricacies.  We serve over a hundred companies.  Each company has one to fifty different products that we custom manufacture for them.  We have over twenty-five employees, which subjects the company to all the federal laws like family leave and military leave and other compliance laws.  And, of course, there is Osha and DOT, not to mention bookkeeping and complicated tax laws. And, in the mist of all this I would like to taper back my involvement.  I want to work less or not at all. But I want Katy to be happy, but not stressed with all there is to know and do.  But, with her laid back personality, can she handle all that needs to be handled?

Whew! In my attempts to uncover the outcomes that I wanted in the scenario I picked, I realized these views about how everything should be resolved were all perceptual concepts and perceptual concepts imply personhood.  But this is what I’ve been learning: to step back and Rest, Accept (allow) and Trust.  I know what I really want in any unresolved situation isn’t the conflicting goals or desired outcomes and the un-related expectations that my mind was showing me.  Present Awareness is what I really want; to heal my mind with Knowledge which is of God, not my interpretations. That is what is in my best interest.

Workbook Lesson 23, I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts

 I am so excited about today’s workbook lesson. This lesson tells us exactly how to heal, and it tells us “this way cannot fail.” Let me outline the steps to healing that are outlined in this workbook lesson.

1. “You must learn that it is [attack thoughts] you do not want.” Although this sentence is stated in the negative, ‘you do not want’, it is a statement of desire. Our first step in healing is to want healing. Honestly, the more we want healing, the more we will heal. If you feel that it is possible that you do not want healing enough, it is very good to put contemplative-effort, inquiry-effort and awareness-effort into increasing your desire for freedom (for healing). You can do this by noticing how much you are suffering and/or how much others are suffering while continually asking yourself questions like, “Is this the world I want to see?”As you recognize that you do not want suffering, the desire for freedom increases. However, remember we saw that the brain is re-programmed best with a positive goal. So, the awareness that you do not want suffering is used to drive up the awareness that you do want freedom, happiness, love, etc. And then focus on the positive goal. Any positive goal that feels genuine for you and that motivates you to spiritual practice is good.
2. “This change [from attack to love, darkness to light, illusion to truth] requires, first, that the cause be identified and then let go, so that it can be replaced. The first two steps in the process require your cooperation. The final one does not.” Without stating it directly, this is talking about Rest, Accept and Trust.First the cause needs to be identified. The cause is casting attention on thoughts that have been received by the mind. Sometimes the thought comes in and we cast attention on it so quickly, that we never see the thought. Our first indication that we have cast attention on a thought is the emotion we are feeling. Rest and Accept is what we do when we notice we have slipped into the cause by casting attention on a thought (or thought stream). Rest and Accept is how we let go. Rest is the opposite of casting more attention. Accept is the opposite of repressing a false belief in the form of emotion. Through resting the mind and accepting the emotion as it is, we let it go. Trust is realizing that Rest-Accept is the only part of the healing process that requires our cooperation.
3. “Hold each attack thought in the mind as you say [the workbook lesson for the day].” One challenge to healing is that the neural pathways in our brain are so well formed that they are like waterslides. The “attack thoughts” slip by so fast that we do not really see them. It’s like our brain is on automatic pilot.Let me give you an analogy. When you first learned to drive a car, you had to really pay attention to everything you did. “Put the key in. Now put your feet on the break. Turn the key in the ignition. That’s enough; let go of the key. Keep your foot on the brake and put the car in reverse. Turn and look over your shoulder. Now move your foot from the brake to the gas and give it just a little gas; not too much; back out slowly, etc. …”Now you don’t have to give so much attention to driving. You can carry on a conversation with someone and do all of this pretty efficiently because neural pathways have been formed in your brain. Your brain can almost drive a car without your attention, and unfortunately sometimes it does drive a car without your attention. That’s an example of how the brain can operate on auto-pilot because of well-formed neural pathways.The brain can also believe thoughts on auto-pilot because a neural pathway has been formed for those types of thoughts. If a completely alien thought is received for which there is no neural pathway, it will call to your attention so a value-decision can be made, but if you have already formed grooves in your brain for a certain type of thought, the brain doesn’t need your attention to process that thought through the already formed neural pathway.

   However, the brain does need your attention to stop a thought from sliding down an old neural pathway, and it does need your attention to create a new neural pathway. This is why you have to hold a thought in awareness as you say the workbook lesson for the day.

   Imagine the thought as a child who is about to go down a waterslide that is too dangerous for the child’s age. You need to reach out, grab the child and then gently redirect it to an age-appropriate slide.

   That’s similar to what we are doing as we heal (reprogram the brain). We reach out and grab the thought with our awareness and hold it still so it doesn’t slide down the old neural pathway, and then by holding it as we say the current day’s workbook lesson, we redirect it to a new neural pathway.

   The new neural pathway is a different type of waterslide. Instead of a waterslide of belief, which tosses the thought back into our oneness to be shared and sent back to us, the new one is a waterslide that takes the thought to the exit door, and the thought drops out of the game. A Course in Miracles calls this process “forgiveness.”

4. “There is no point in trying to change the world. It is incapable of change because it is merely an effect. But there is indeed a point in changing your thoughts about the world. Here you are changing the cause.”When we give too much attention to the world, we are not giving attention to our thoughts and they are rushing around splashing down the old neural pathways doing what we have already trained them to do. Since we are not alone in experiencing the effects of our thoughts, the world continues to turn in the same way that it always has. If we want to have a positive effect on the world, we must turn our attention inward and give healing attention to the image-maker, the process of casting attention that goes on within our minds.