Today’s reading teaches that there is a direct correlation between how we see now and how we want to see. For some, this may be hard to read. Often people want to believe that their desire for truth is stronger than it is. However, we can see how strong our desire for truth is by looking at exactly how we see (and experience) now.

Why do we want to believe that our desire for truth is stronger than it is?

As we learned in NTI Luke, we believe that we are inherently guilty for seeing ourselves as separate individuals. We feel guilty for seeing ourselves as some thing, because that isn’t truth; life is what we are. Interestingly, seeing ourselves as guilty is an ego preservation strategy.

How is it an ego preservation strategy?

Seeing ourselves as guilty is seeing ourselves as something. In order to see ourselves (and everything else) as it is, we need to let go of all beliefs that we have about what we are. We also need to let go of all beliefs about what others are, what the world is and what the world is supposed to be.

Today’s reading says:

When a man welcomes the Light fully, he ceases to be a man, and he becomes the Light. For the Light is a presence that denies the existence of man. It knows only the Light. … To know the Light is to know eternity.

It is as Floyd Henderson wrote in his book, The Blissful Abidance Series:

The entire contents [of the mind] must be discarded if you would “fill the cup” with that which can bring you something with a taste that can be enjoyed. There is no other way than the way of emptiness first, fullness second…

When all learned ignorance is tossed, then everything that also accompanies ignorance will go. … You will have returned to Your original nature … You will have tasted the sweet taste of the nectar of immortality.

Michael Langford teaches that the most important first step you can take toward awakening in this lifetime is to increase your desire for awakening.

Michael Langford teaches, “another great key is self-honesty.” He writes:

Self-honesty will help in all aspects of the quest for liberation. Self-honesty will help you to increase your desire for liberation.

That means that in spite of the ego’s tendency to pretend that our desire for awakening is greater than it is, it is actually most helpful to be honest about our level of desire. When we pretend that our desire is greater than it is, we hold onto the repressed belief that we are guilty. When we are honest without guilt, we let go of the belief that we are guilty. That is letting go of one of the ego’s core preservation strategies.

Yesterday’s tip pointed this out:

The wish to be something leads to identification with a specific body-mind-personality as ‘me,’ which leads to a distorted way of seeing—seeing form as primary and life as secondary. When the wish to be something dissolves, the distorted way of seeing dissolves too, and then we see life as primary and form as secondary. With this shift in the way we see, everything changes.

NTI John opens with a focus on light as primary. “Light” is the symbol for eternal, non-changing life, the essence. “Darkness” is the symbol of the ego’s distorted way of seeing form as primary.

The light is truth, so the light is always present. If we see with darkness instead of light, it is because we think we are something. Of course, that is how most humans see. One might wonder why any human ever awakens to the light. Why does anyone desire to know the light when the perspective of darkness is accepted as truth in the world?

The best answer to that question is simply that light is our truth—eternal life is what we are—and a belief that we are something cannot fully block truth. At some point, the truth begins to tug at our heart. If we follow its promptings, that tug grows stronger until we find ourselves driven to rediscover truth. That search is never futile, because everything is that which we seek, and it responds to our desire to see it (and ourselves) as it is.

It is as Michael Langford wrote in The Most Direct Means to Eternal Bliss:

• When your desire for freedom becomes very intense, your desire for freedom demands that you take no detours.

 

• When the desire for freedom becomes even stronger, the desire for freedom itself will bring you everything you need to succeed in your quest for liberation including the answer to all your questions, finding the Direct Path teachings, the solution to all obstacles, etc.

 

• The extremely intense desire for the Direct Experience of the absolute Truth will guide you to your inner Teacher.

 

• The extremely intense desire for Truth will guide you to the practice that gives the Direct Experience of eternal life.

In other words, the way to truth realization is to follow our desire for truth realization. If we follow our desire, and keep it foremost in our minds, everything else will happen naturally to bring us to awakening.

Today’s reading is the last chapter in NTI Luke. The “voice” of this book leaves us with a summary of Luke’s teaching before it drifts off so that another “voice” can come and teach us from another point-of-view.

NTI Luke has been primarily about purification, and so the summary leaves us with a reminder to practice the new habits we’ve been taught with our every breath  until purification is complete. The next book that we go into will have a different emphasis, so let’s vow now that we will not forget Luke’s teachings as we move forward into a different reading.

Even though NTI Luke was primarily about purification of that which isn’t true, Luke ended its teaching with truth. Since the ego does not like truth, and those who have not yet completed purification are typically still identified with ego, Luke encourages us to continue to seek truth. Today’s reading says:

Bow your head and check your heart’s desire. Do you wish to be deceived? Do you wish to see what you have wished to see, or do you wish to see the truth?

The ego, being mental identification with a specific form, sees life in  form. It sees life in people, life in animals and life in plants. To the ego, which is mental identification with form, form is primary and life is secondary. That’s why there appears to be death. If form is primary and life is secondary, when form ends, life ends.

However, this is ego’s distorted view based on ego’s wish—the wish to be something. Today’s reading promises that when we are free of this wish, we will also be free of ego’s distorted way of seeing. Instead of seeing form as primary and life as secondary, we will see life as primary and form as secondary. With this shift in the way we see, everything changes.

 
The ego resists truth.

Why does the ego resist truth?

It’s because the ego is mental identification with a specific body-mind-personality as what I am.

I say that again:

The ego is mental identification with a specific body-mind-personality as what I am.

The truth is:

The body-mind-personality is not what I am. The body-mind-personality is a temporary manifestation that has come about through the Third Principle of God, the creative principal. Like all temporary manifestations, it had a beginning, and it will have an end.

The ego, being mental identification with the body-mind-personality, does not like the truth. It wants to believe that some part of what it is identified with—the body, the mind, or the personality—will in some way continue forever. The idea of an eternal soul is the ego’s wish, a hope for something that is ‘me’ that continues beyond the body’s physical death.

But that’s not the truth.

That’s why the ego resists truth. It doesn’t like the truth. When the ego looks at the truth, it can’t find itself. It doesn’t like that at all.

What is the truth?

The truth is we are life itself.

Temporary manifestations come and go. They always have, and they always will. However, as everything else comes and goes, there is one thing that always remains—life. As today’s reading says:

… all that can be final is that which lasts when all else has ended …

Let’s imagine being at a funeral. There is a body in the casket. It is a friend that you’ve known for several years. Your friend died unexpectedly of a heart attack.

If you focus your eyes and thoughts on the body in the casket, death seems very real. However, in order for death to appear real, you have to narrow your focus to the casket. You have to ignore the life that you are as you look at the casket. You have to ignore the life that is present in all of the other people at the funeral. You have to ignore the life in the plants that fill the room and in the birds singing outside the window. In order to believe in death, which is the end of life, you have to ignore so much!

The truth is that you are not the body-mind-personality that your thoughts currently identify with. You are life—that which was before this body, that which is while this body is present, and that which continues when this body ends.

Look with open eyes. See that life never ends!

Look at nature. Specific plants and animals come and go, but nature itself remains.

Consider Ramana Maharshi’s statement to his devotees, as they gathered around him mourning his impending death:

I am not going anywhere. Where would I go?

Look. Does life die, or does it recycle, reorder and rearrange into new and different forms? Can you find the end of life, or do you find only ongoinginess?

Mental identification fears the end of a specific form that it is identified with. It wishes for a “truth” that will give it eternal life. Many people believe different religious stories about continuation of the ‘me’ in one way or another. Do you know why there are so many different religious beliefs about continuation? Because those beliefs are stories; they are not truth.

The truth is beyond any specific form and beyond mental identification with it.

Awakening is the end of mental identification with a specific form. When that identification ends, one sees one’s Self as life itself. In that realization, fear is impossible, because ‘end’ is impossible.

Yesterday, we looked at fear. We learned that fear is resistance, which means the way to overcome fear is willingness.

Resistance avoids change.
Willingness is open to change.

What is the change that we fear?

Ultimately, we fear losing our self. However, as today’s reading points out, the self we are afraid of losing is not our true Self. It is an imagined self. It is a collection of ideas about who we are. It’s thought, and nothing more than thought.

Our true Self is much more than thought.

In today’s reading, Holy Spirit says:

If I am to help you release your fear, I must teach you there is nothing to fear.

Holy Sprit does this in two primary ways:

1. Holy Spirit helps us become aware of thought. We notice that thought comes and goes. We notice that thought changes constantly, sometimes quite dramatically. We notice thought isn’t consistent. For example, thought takes a side and then changes sides. We notice that thought pretends to represent our best interests, but when we inquire more deeply, we see that isn’t true.

 

2. Holy Spirit helps us become aware of our true Self. We notice our true Self is always present. It is peaceful, naturally clear and wise. It is constant, changeless and consistent. When we focus on our true Self deeply, we realize inherent joy.

As we become more aware of both the false self and the true Self, we see more clearly which one we want and which one we don’t want.  That strengthens our willingness, which simultaneously weakens resistance. In other words, increased awareness is the path of gentle healing.

Note: Today’s reading interprets the story about Jesus being sentenced to crucifixion. If you’d like to read that story in the Bible, click here.

Before sharing a tip about today’s reading, I would like to review the following definitions:

Judgment– Comparing, and then favoring or rejecting. An example of ego judgment is comparing two possible solutions to a problem, and then choosing one solution over another.

Discernment– Comparing, and then favoring or rejecting. The difference between judgment and discernment is its purpose. The purpose of discernment is to reject ego and favor truth or ideas that point toward truth. An example of discernment is noticing that your mind is filled with worry about a particular situation, choosing to let go of (reject) worry and trust (favor) all is well even though you are facing the unknown.

Intuition– A feeling or sense that guides one to make sensible decisions without using judgment. The hallmark of intuition is the feeling to do or not do something without having mental reasons. An example of intuition is having the feeling to stop what you are doing and call a friend on the phone.

Guidance – Following the highest vibrational choice that is currently available. An example of guidance is the prompt to stop thinking and give your full attention to a friend who is speaking.

Resistance– Habitual or willful avoidance of change. Specifically, ego resistance avoids a rise in vibrational level, and it avoids awakening, which is the end of ego. An example of resistance is choosing to defend one’s way of thinking.

Willingness– Open to change. Specifically, spiritual willingness is open to change in order to achieve one’s spiritual aspiration. An example of willingness is being open to letting go of problem-solution thinking, because you realize that thinking is ego.

Today’s reading is about fear. From time-to-time, great fear can come over us as we move forward on the spiritual path. As today’s reading says:

Great fear is nothing more than great resistance.
And so the means for overcoming great fear is great willingness.
Great willingness comes from remembering what you want.

I have had several experiences of great fear that were directly related to my decision to awaken in this lifetime. In hindsight, I can see that fear was a loud cry from the ego-mind to avoid a change that would result in less ego control over me. If I had listened to fear, I would have remained an ego-controlled being. By choosing not to listen to fear, I took a step towards freedom.

Again, I can see that now, in hindsight. However, when I was in a situation of fear, that wasn’t so easy to see. The ego-mind screamed that I was heading for impending disaster. It shouted ever-so-convincingly that I needed to listen to it in order to be safe.

What did I do?

I used discernment to see ego as ego. I remembered that I wanted my spiritual aspiration above anything else, including safety, and then I focused on my willingness to follow-through with guidance and avoid falling prey to resistance. Rest-accept-trust was a key practice until the fear subsided.

Today’s reading says:

[When fear is strong,] this is a time for accepting that the world is not real.

I found that to be very important whenever great fear hit, because fear tempts us with everything that we’ve believed up until that point in our lives. In order to withstand fear, we need the willingness to trust that everything we have believed is mistaken. Without that faith, it might not be possible to resist the incredibly sly arguments thrown at us by the ego-mind.

There is one more thing that I found very helpful whenever I was faced with great fear:

Be okay with feeling fear.

Fear is one of the most unpleasant emotions that can arise in the human experience. Most humans will do almost anything to avoid feeling fear. That’s why the ego-mind uses fear to try and control us when we are on the verge of breaking free. It knows how much we dislike fear, and it knows that when all else fails, it can control us with fear. If we remain like most humans, who will do anything to avoid fear, the ego will control us with fear. If our goal is to avoid fear, as soon as fear arises, the ego-mind will provide a suggestion about how we can get out of fear, and we will listen. Again, we will listen if our goal is to avoid fear.

That’s why it’s important to be okay with fear. If I am willing to tolerate the feeling of fear when it’s with me, and if I maintain my spiritual aspiration as my goal, the ego cannot use fear to control me.

Fear is just a feeling. It’s an energy running through the body. It is entirely possible to watch the feeling of fear with awareness and notice that fear is nothing to be afraid of. When we learn to be with fear without fearing it, we take a giant step towards freedom, because one of the ego’s greatest weapons against our freedom is now ineffective.

Note: It may be useful to print this tip so it can be accessed easily when it’s needed.

 
Confusion

People often experience confusion during the awakening process, especially during the purification phase. One way to explain confusion is to say it is the ego’s defense against truth. However, let’s look more specifically at what’s really going on when we experience confusion.

Our old way of understanding things is mental. We think about something, and then we understand it.

With truth, it’s different. We can’t understand truth by thinking about it. Understanding comes from seeing, which is different than thinking.

When we begin to live by the new habits of the spiritual path, we begin to have moments of seeing. In those moments, clarity comes, and we feel clear. However, when we step back into the old habit of thinking, what was clear becomes muddled again, because we are no longer seeing, we are thinking.

As we learn to think about truth less and rely on seeing more, we experience less confusion and more clarity.

What is Seeing?

Seeing is the result of being in the right-mind, just like thinking is the result of being in the wrong-mind. You cannot see with the wrong-mind. The wrong-mind is blind and cannot see.

In order to see more consistently:

1. Discern between the wrong-mind and the right-mind.
2. Let go of the wrong-mind simply because it is the wrong-mind.
3. Maintain a way of being that is in harmony with the right-mind.

When we maintain a way of being that is in harmony with the right-mind, we see naturally.

How to Recognize the Wrong-Mind

The wrong-mind can be recognized by specific characteristics, including:

• Ideas of less than and better than, desired and undesired
• Ideas of good and bad, should be and shouldn’t be
• Perceptions of guilt, victimhood and blame
• Spinning, struggling or habitual thinking
• Conflicted feelings or perceiving conflict
• Anger, hatred, attacking thoughts
• Feeling or perceiving rejection
• Fear, worry, uneasiness
• Defensiveness
• Confusion

Whenever you inquire into an upset and find any of these characteristics at the core of your thinking or at the root of your perception, it means you are in the wrong-mind. That alone is a good reason to drop your way of thinking. Move into rest-accept-trust and the willingness to be healed.

You can see these mistaken ideas very quickly. A long drawn out inquiry process isn’t necessary.

For example:

Imagine some friends are coming to stay with me for a couple of days. Although I am excited to see them, my mind is thrown into a frenzy thinking about the house cleaning I need to do, worrying about the meals I will prepare, and deciding and then doubting my decisions about what we will do while they are here.

Is this the wrong-mind or the right-mind?

If I look, I see  that thinking is spinning constantly. That is a characteristic of the wrong-mind.

I see  worry about the meals. Worry is a characteristic of the wrong-mind.

I see  confusion about what to do while they are here. Confusion is a characteristic of the wrong-mind.

I can journal into my thinking to get more clarity, but if I am willing to let go of the wrong-mind simply because it is the wrong-mind, I already have the clarity I need. Now, I can move into rest-accept-trust. Once I feel more settled into a sense of peace, trust or well being, I can tune into intuition and let it guide me moment-by-moment. If needed, I will maintain a more peaceful way of being by reminding myself to follow intuition one step at a time and trust that all is well.

Note: It may be helpful to print this tip for future reference.

Today’s reading follows up on the interpretation of the parable about The Vineyard and the Tenants, which we read on Day 85. Today’s reading uses logic to encourage us to inquire about the validity of our belief in separation, our belief in guilt, and our sense of fear.

What is validity? An idea is valid if it has a sound or well-grounded basis in logic or fact. An idea that does not meet this criterion is not valid; it is fallacious, meaning false or mistaken.

We hold onto to our belief in separation, our belief in guilt and unworthiness, and our sense of fear, because we believe they are all valid. If the Holy Spirit can lead us to inquire deeply into these ideas, we will discover they are not valid; they are fallacious. When we see for ourselves that these ideas are fallacious, we can let them go. As long as we believe they are valid, we will hold onto them. This is why inquiry is so important.

Enlightened inquiry alone leads to liberation.
~ Ramana Maharshi

We have looked at this quote from Nisargadatta Maharaj:

The world you can perceive is a very small world indeed. And it is entirely private. Take it to be a dream and be done with it.

It’s important this quote isn’t misunderstood. It means that we shouldn’t take our life so seriously. We do well to let it come and let it go, as we maintain our true state of constancy.

However, it doesn’t mean that we should deny our experience or avoid our role in life. One who uses teachings such as this quote by Nisargadatta to deny their experience or avoid their role in life is listening to the ego’s interpretation of the teaching. A clear mind faces whatever is here now fully, and then it lets it go as that experience disappears into the past and a new experience comes into the present.

Today’s reading reemphasizes a point made in yesterday’s tip:

The mind resists truth by seeking to understand truth mentally. If you or I are satisfied with mental understanding, the desire to realize truth is quenched. In this satisfaction, the ego wins.

You could say that today’s reading is a call to stop trying to understand truth.

How do we proceed if we let go of trying to understand?

We proceed by following current moment guidance and by practicing the new habits, which purify the mind.

Today’s reading asks us to accept God’s freedom by:

… extending your trust and innocence.

To extend means to spread forth or to enlarge the scope or effect of. It also means to exert oneself to full capacity. So, if we extend our trust and innocence, that means we are making these a bigger part of our way of being.

Trust is “assured reliance on.” In this case, it is assured reliance on the benevolence of the universe and on the current moment’s guidance. Assured means certain and reliance means to be dependent. So, we extend our trust by feeling certain that all is well while being fully dependent on guidance.

Innocence in this case is “lack of knowledge,” which means we do not try to rely on our own thinking. We do not try to understand. We do not try to figure things out. Instead, we are certain that all is well without needing to understand, and we are fully dependent on guidance without trying to figure things out for our self.

There are two questions that are really the same question:

What is truth?
What am I?

When these two questions burn in us to the point that nothing else is important, we are getting ready for truth realization.

Today’s reading interprets the parable of The Vineyard and the Tenants. When we read this parable in NTI Mark on Day 50, the vineyard was interpreted as the teaching, and stealing the vineyard was interpreted as identifying with the teaching (also known as fundamentalism). Today’s reading interprets the story differently.

Today’s reading interprets the vineyard as:

… a mind that is shared among God and His creations.

Like consciousness, awareness and soul, “mind” is an elusive term. If you look it up using a few different dictionaries, you will find out that it has many meanings. Although there may be a temptation to try and define exactly what “mind” means in the context of today’s reading, it might be better to let it remain an open question.

Why?

We’ve already seen that one type of resistance is seeking answers to metaphysical questions or questions about enlightenment. The mind resists truth by seeking to understand truth mentally. If you or I are satisfied with mental understanding, the desire to realize truth is quenched. In this satisfaction, the ego wins.

The real purpose of today’s reading is three-fold:

1. To help us realize that our sense of guilt and unworthiness stems from an unconscious knowing that our false sense of self is a lie.

 

2. To help us relax away from the belief in guilt by pointing out that we are free to maintain a false sense of self and world.

 

3. To lead us into a penetrating curiosity, where we want to find the answer to “What is the truth?” and “What am I?”

I love the line in today’s reading where the Holy Spirit says, “So whatever I am, you must also be.” Notice the word “whatever” in that sentence. I like to stare at “whatever.” As I look deeply at the word “whatever,” I want to find out what that is—“whatever  I am, you must also be.”

Do you want to find out what that is, or are you satisfied with a lie and a dream?