On Sunday, I led the Awakening Together Weekly Gathering, “When the Mind Goes Crazy.” In that gathering, I talked about how to recognize an ego attack. After listening to a few people since then, I thought it might be helpful to clarify one point.

An ego attack always has the purpose of trying to stop you from moving forward on the spiritual path. Maybe you are about to follow significant guidance, and it comes to try to stop you. Maybe you are about to make a significant shift, and it comes to try to stop you. An ego attack is the reaction of homeostasis in the thought system. It is an attempt to prevent change.

Ego attack isn’t the only time you are challenged by thoughts that are louder and more persistent than usual. For us to let go of anything, it needs to rise out of the subconscious and be seen. So, for example, if it is time for you to let go of a specific false belief, you may see and feel a lot more of that than usual. This is different than an ego attack, because the purpose is different. This is grace. Grace is pushing something up from the subconscious to be seen in awareness.

In some ways, it doesn’t matter if it is an ego attack or grace pushing something up to be seen and healed. What you do is the same: Rest, accept and allow, trust, watch, and do not believe or engage with it. However, the reason I wanted to help you recognize an ego attack is because an ego attack is trying to get you to STOP! RUN! GO the OTHER WAY! If you don’t recognize an ego attack for what it is, you might stop, run, go the other way. If you see it for what it is, you will be able to stay, rest through the attack, and continue forward in the direction of truth realization.

I hope this is helpful.

Here is a link to my Weekly Gathering for those who did not hear it:

In August of 2024, Rev. Billy Sintiris shared during a Weekly Gathering from a writing he and Rev. Meg Reinhart had contemplated. This writing was based on a teaching from Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj. If you’d like to listen to the weekly gathering audio you can find the link here.

I Am A Dream That Can Wake You Up

The world you see is nothing but a fleeting spectacle—a dazzling display without substance, existing only as long as you choose to engage with it. It has no true cause or purpose, merely serving as a distraction for the unawakened mind. To the Self, or Atman, the world is simply a colorful play, enjoyed while it lasts but ultimately forgotten when it ends.

The only true reality is the observer, the Self, who remains untouched by the illusions and transient dramas of the world. The enlightened one, or Jnani, moves through life without being swayed by the oscillations of joy and sorrow, life and death. They understand that all of these experiences are just a part of the show—real only to those who are bound by them, but ultimately devoid of any lasting substance.

In the state of true realization, the Jnani experiences a profound, uncaused bliss—a happiness that is intrinsic, independent of external conditions. Unlike those who seek happiness through transient pleasures and fear suffering, the Jnani knows that their state of being is their own, untouched by the shifting tides of the world. This bliss is closer and more real than even the body, more intimate than the mind itself.

The world, in its entirety, arises from nothingness and eventually returns to nothingness. Yet, for those who are not awakened, it seems filled with creators, preservers, and destroyers—forces that govern their perception of reality. However, once you step into the state of Self-realization, these distinctions dissolve, and you come to see yourself in everything. The world’s illusions fade away, revealing the true nature of existence.

Though the Jnani perceives the world as others do, they do not believe themselves to be a part of it. They see it instead as an iridescent drop in the vast ocean of consciousness—a small, ephemeral reflection in the infinite expanse of awareness. As they journey through life, they grow increasingly peaceful, knowing that they are returning home. The burden of the body lessens with each passing day, and the mind becomes serene, free from desire and aversion. Every sensation is met with equanimity and an affectionate detachment, as the Jnani understands that these experiences are as fleeting as the world itself.

The suffering of the body may persist, but it is of no consequence. Whatever state the Jnani finds themselves in, they accept it as it is, recognizing it as merely a state of mind. They are neither the body nor the experiencer of the body; they are the pure awareness that underlies all experience. Outer events do not mold their inner state, for at the root of their being is a speck of intense light—pure consciousness. This light naturally radiates and creates images in space and events in time, effortlessly and spontaneously. When the mind becomes active, distinctions arise, and with them, pleasure and pain. But in the stillness of pure awareness, these dualities cease to exist.

The liberated one is alone, yet they are all. They are not a being, but the very essence of beingness in all things. Even this description falls short, for they are beyond words and concepts, the ground from which all existence springs.

Everyone dies as they live. But the Jnani is not afraid of death, for they are not afraid of life. They live a life of true happiness and will die a death free from fear. Misery comes from the illusion of birth, not from death. In reality, the Jnani was never born, and so they cannot grow old. What appears to others as a person is merely a projection in their minds. The Jnani is not concerned with such illusions.

In my world, no one is born, and no one dies. Life’s journey is just a dream, and the only reality is waking up from it. Recognizing the ‘I am’ as the ultimate reality is enough. This realization is the seed of Self-awareness, which, once planted, will inevitably grow into the mighty tree of enlightenment, no matter how long it takes.

Spiritual guidance tends to arise for me in concise and simple terms. Often, guidance might be one sentence long and last me several months. However, this morning I had asked for more explanatory and specific instructions. Of course, as the universe would have it, I was given what I asked for.

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In the guidance below, the Crystal is a metaphor for the sense of self. The assumption is that we build walls and fortifications around our sense of self, in the form of beliefs about the world, in order to protect the sense of self. Visually, the crystal is in the center of a field, and around it are walls and fortifications to keep people away.

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Embracing the crystal is a metaphor for placing the sense of self under direct inquiry, rather than building around it. Visually, the fortifications have been taken down, and all that is left at this point is the crystal sitting vulnerably in the middle of a field. Should I embrace the crystal, it melts away, but so do I – as its my sense of self. It is ego suicide, in a way. Not of the body, but of the mind.

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To guidance: What would you have me do? To sit back on the crystal?

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Wisdom: You are going to merge with the crystal, ultimately dissolving identity. The crystal is the lived belief in separation. It is the belief through which the mind has seemingly separated itself from reality and created an ego. It is more than the root of all belief; It is the seeming existence of any belief at all.

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The crystal – belief in separation – like all other beliefs, upon close examination, is actually not there. The arising of it and the seeing of it are the same. While it is helpful to feel one is embracing the crystal and melting away the belief of separation, the truth is sweeter than even that, as there is no crystal to melt and therefore nothing to resist embracing. One is already melted with the Crystal at all times, whether or not they are aware of it. Believing the thoughts of separation does not make it so.

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Effort is a significant and pragmatic part of spiritual practice, and so for a time it will seem the effortlessness of non-separation will require the effortfulness of the self to embrace the crystal and dissolve latent tendancies. This can result in tremendous pain and crying, but only because one is looking at their own mind for what it is and feeling the underbelly of the ego in the full light of awareness. The pain arising is not a result of any practice or new situation, but is actually the pain that is already being believed and anchored into identity, hidden away behind the belief of separation, fueling the attachment to self / ego.

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It is helpful to do what is easiest and what comes most natural to you. There will be times of dissolving beliefs one at a time, embracing their emotion and fully feeling them; And there will be times of pulling the floor out from beneath a whole group of beliefs, shattering a paradigm in one quick swoop, without investigating each part. Regardless of which approach is taken – which ratio is chosen and with which strategies, including both those strategies mentioned here and other strategies for processing belief not mentioned here – thought will continue to appear and enlighten you.

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As long as thought arises unquestioned, you are being shown in real time where to work next. Each arising thought is another apparent separation of reality (always requiring a “me” for the thought to reference) and is just an innocent alarm showing you where belief still lives. Loving everything you think will make embracing the crystal seem easy, and hating what you think will make it seem hard. Neither loving nor hating belief will make it real. With this, you are free.

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To Guidance: What am I to do?

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You are to be as present and open as you can to noticing what is alive in you to do for this moment.

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You may embrace the crystal and invest effort to help it dissolve. You may meditate. You may reject embracing the crystal and live for more time with the beliefs of separation. You may question some beliefs and leave others untouched. You may question every belief, and process everything that arises; You may walk the planet freely, doing whatever arises for you to do. You are truly free. You may make any decision, any choice, and you will always be accepted.

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Sit in your heart and cultivate an understanding of what is truest to you. Then, when you have found what is truest for you to do, see the beliefs you wear like clothing to protect yourself – belief in needing safety, belief in having an opinion, belief in a me, belief in time, belief in distance. Call those beliefs by name, and be willing to meet them in inquiry or surrender.

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Ultimately, everything and anything that is done is utterly perfect and already pristine. The path is about waking up to what is already true, not about making something true by changing your mind. Therefore, there really is nothing for you to do beyond being as authentically yourself as you can in any moment. The apparent efforting and work to be done will be on the ways you believe the moment isn’t already worth loving.

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In summary: Cultivate heart felt aspiration. Become as open minded and aware as you can muster. Be willing to meet whatever arises. Use practices of inquiry and surrender, when needed, when its natural. Know that the actual work is already done, and all that this guidance does is help you become aware of perfection as it manifests.

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