As long as we have a single goal: Truth, the way it is uncovered is not our concern.
When I first moved in with my friend, Regina, there were certain things that really scared me…simple things that I was afraid of. I tried to force myself into healing them but I found that as I forced healing, I was really causing myself more pain along the way. It wasn’t until I let go of control over my healing that I finally started to take a step forward.
The only thing I think I have always had is some degree of willingness. But sometimes that willingness took the form of me being patient with myself. Forcing myself to do something I was extremely uncomfortable with while hating myself the whole time I was doing it, was not helpful and it seemed to simply stir the ego pot. Learning to be gentle with myself even though I felt like a scared idot, was the first step for me. Allowing myself to be as I am…while telling God I had willingness to practice my life differently was quite helpful.
I also gave effort to move forward as able…but only when I saw that God was leaving me a clear opening to take a small step. Allowing the path to unfold for me, and then just taking a small step forward if I feel ready, is what seems to work for me. Liking myself anyway is something I am still working on. Loving myself anyway…well…we’ll see how God handles that one.