Preface from Rev. Regina Dawn Akers:
Last year, Awakening Together minister, Rev. Hank Hamilton, wrote to me saying that he needed to take a sabbatical from Awakening Together. It’s been a year since I’ve heard from Hank, until recently. He sent me a email with the following letter a few weeks ago. I am sharing it with you with Hank’s permission. I think this letter is inspirational, and it shows what we can accomplish when we decide to practice the teachings for ourselves.
Rev. Hank’s Letter:
Well, it is approaching the end of the year. I said I would be gone for a year or maybe two; it looks like two will be required, maybe more. There is not much to relate. I have given myself over to this “path” I am on; can’t go back, can’t give it up.
I have been led to question everything that I think I know, asking myself if this (anything at all) is True, and how would I know if it was true, what was I basing it on? The idea was that if I could find something that I knew to be true with absolute, 100% certainty, then I could begin to accept other “Truths” using that same criteria; namely that it too, had to be a Truth that was absolutely, 100% true.
Well, I found that one thing, that one absolute Truth; this is probably no surprise to you. The only thing that I could be absolutely certain of was my own consciousness, my own awareness, my awareness of my awareness. This I knew to be so. I mean, it is right there, always. It is the thing that is alive, it lives, it is eternal. I am that I am. Son I am with thee always, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. Right, how could I leave myself?
Everything external has just fallen away, it is all fuzzy, I cannot be certain of any of it. I am only certain of this one thing. I did not know, I do not know what this awareness, this consciousness is; but I do know that it is. I know that it is, and further I know that this is who I am, what I am. This is the Truth of me.
So I now know who I am, what I am. I am this consciousness, this awareness. But I don’t know what this conscious awareness is. I am just beginning to suspect that this conscious awareness is my doorway to realizing God, Truth, Christ, what ever you want to call it.
So it will be awhile yet. And it is lonesome: it’s a lonesome valley that I have to walk by myself. It is foolishness to try to talk about this with others. Not only is it foolishness, it is not advisable to do so. Nobody else can possibly understand; not unless they have had a similar experience. When I have tried to discuss this, I only end up feeling confused and doubtful. This that I am learning must be very very solid in me before I speak of it to others. I can tell you because I think you can understand.
I made the mistake in Awakening Together of trying to “teach” before I had really learned what it was that I was trying to teach. And so I could not do it. And that is where I remain today. I am not ready to teach. I may never be ready to teach. But my path is clear before me – I want to know God, in truth. And I know where God is to be found, right here inside me, at the center of my being. I don’t have to run around trying to find God, He is with me always, He is myself, truly I see that God goes with me wherever I go; He is myself, this consciousness, this awareness that I am.
No, I am not ready to return to the Awakening Together community. I am not a minister in any sense of the word. I couldn’t do, perform any of the duties of an AT minister, at least any that I can think of. But, I worked pretty hard to get that certificate and I would prefer to keep it active. Yes, I think that is it; that I am an ordained minister, I have that in my possession at present and so I would rather hang on to it; even though it seems to be of no use to me or anyone else. If you have any ideas or suggestions for me, I am all ears. If there is something I can do to be of service to AT I will do it if I can. I just don’t see how I could fit in at this time.
When I started this letter, I didn’t think I had anything to say to you, but then all this just came busting out. Thanks for listening.