LESSON 160. I am at home. Fear is the stranger here.
Over the last few days we have been focusing on truth, life-presence. Focusing on life-presence is Self-inquiry, a form of devotion where we continually focus on our true Self.
Today, we are going to shift to self-inquiry. That’s questioning the false self in order to recognize that it isn’t our truth. It isn’t what we are. It is merely the effect of attention attracted to thought.
Our lesson begins, “Fear is a stranger to the ways of love. Identify with fear, and you will be a stranger to yourself. And thus you are unknown to you.” We have become strangers to ourselves by giving believing attention to untrue thoughts about ourselves. Our practice of self-inquiry will help us to look squarely upon the untrue, see it as untrue, and release it as a block to our awareness of true nature.
Fear is a basic characteristic of ego thinking. Fear teaches lack and limitation. This is how the stranger has come to take your place. You are not limited or lacking in any way. This is what must be unlearned. As today’s lesson points out, when we identify with the fear thinking in the mind, our truth is unknown to us. This is why we need to practice self-inquiry. We need to return to recognizing our Self as our Self.
We return to this recognition by removing our believing attention from fear thoughts and placing them with the truth. Today’s lesson recommends that we ask, “Who is the stranger?” Another way to do that is to ask, “What am I?” Both questions help us to discern between what we are not and what we are.
Let me demonstrate by relaying something that happened to me yesterday. I was in a meeting with someone and criticized his way of speaking. His feelings were obviously hurt and it just didn’t feel helpful.
After the meeting, I looked at what was really going on. At first, I felt I was helping him to be a better communicator (we can just call that denial). When I was ready to see past that delusion and see that it was about me, not him, I saw that I was feeling stressed. I could have left this justification unquestioned, but I was willing to look deeper.
I asked, “Why do I feel stressed?” The answer that I first saw was that I had worked on a research project and had just discovered that I had missed a very important part of the research and I would have to make that report in a meeting immediately following this one. In addition, I felt I was running out of time to be prepared to lead the Gentle Healing group. However, I realized that is not the root of my stress so I looked more deeply.
I asked, “Why do I feel stressed about the research and Gentle Healing?” I realized that I am afraid of what other people will think of me if I can’t come up with the right answer after two weeks of research or why I am not prepared for Gentle Healing when I had all weekend to get prepared. I am particularly concerned because I just took a week of vacation. “Obviously, I am not earning my pay.” There it is. As I looked deeper, I saw that this is what I am afraid is true. I see that this story of not working hard enough is based on my belief that I will never be good enough no matter how hard I work. I had seen this root belief arise before. Nonetheless, I was surprised to see it at the root here.
Through this inquiry, I identified a line of thinking that I am identified with. I am identified with the idea that no matter how hard I work, I will never be good enough.
Having seen this, I can practice self-inquiry on this thinking. I do this by looking directly at the thinking I uncovered and ask, “What sees these thoughts?” I shift my attention within to look in the direction of the looker, back towards the source of attention. I notice there are the thoughts and there is the looker looking at the thoughts.
Once I have the experience of noticing these two (thoughts and looker), I ask, “Which am I?” This leads me to see that I am the looker, life-presence-awareness. It is clear the thoughts are the stranger here. They are not me.
When we practice self-inquiry repeatedly, we become increasingly clear on the difference between identification with thought (the false self) and our true Self. This clarity is what today’s lesson calls a miracle. It says, “The miracle will come. For in his home his Self remains. It asked no stranger in, and took no alien thought to be Itself.”
Pay attention today. Notice when you are feeling fear in one form or another. Watch for things like annoyance, frustration, anger, worry, stress, avoidance, etc. When you notice fear, inquire into it in order to receive more clarity about the thoughts that are causing the emotion. Once the thoughts have been uncovered, practice self-inquiry in order to separate the false self (identification with thought) from the true Self (the watcher). Notice which one you are and which one you are not.
