The ego resists truth.

Why does the ego resist truth?

It’s because the ego is mental identification with a specific body-mind-personality as what I am.

I say that again:

The ego is mental identification with a specific body-mind-personality as what I am.

The truth is:

The body-mind-personality is not what I am. The body-mind-personality is a temporary manifestation that has come about through the Third Principle of God, the creative principal. Like all temporary manifestations, it had a beginning, and it will have an end.

The ego, being mental identification with the body-mind-personality, does not like the truth. It wants to believe that some part of what it is identified with—the body, the mind, or the personality—will in some way continue forever. The idea of an eternal soul is the ego’s wish, a hope for something that is ‘me’ that continues beyond the body’s physical death.

But that’s not the truth.

That’s why the ego resists truth. It doesn’t like the truth. When the ego looks at the truth, it can’t find itself. It doesn’t like that at all.

What is the truth?

The truth is we are life itself.

Temporary manifestations come and go. They always have, and they always will. However, as everything else comes and goes, there is one thing that always remains—life. As today’s reading says:

… all that can be final is that which lasts when all else has ended …

Let’s imagine being at a funeral. There is a body in the casket. It is a friend that you’ve known for several years. Your friend died unexpectedly of a heart attack.

If you focus your eyes and thoughts on the body in the casket, death seems very real. However, in order for death to appear real, you have to narrow your focus to the casket. You have to ignore the life that you are as you look at the casket. You have to ignore the life that is present in all of the other people at the funeral. You have to ignore the life in the plants that fill the room and in the birds singing outside the window. In order to believe in death, which is the end of life, you have to ignore so much!

The truth is that you are not the body-mind-personality that your thoughts currently identify with. You are life—that which was before this body, that which is while this body is present, and that which continues when this body ends.

Look with open eyes. See that life never ends!

Look at nature. Specific plants and animals come and go, but nature itself remains.

Consider Ramana Maharshi’s statement to his devotees, as they gathered around him mourning his impending death:

I am not going anywhere. Where would I go?

Look. Does life die, or does it recycle, reorder and rearrange into new and different forms? Can you find the end of life, or do you find only ongoinginess?

Mental identification fears the end of a specific form that it is identified with. It wishes for a “truth” that will give it eternal life. Many people believe different religious stories about continuation of the ‘me’ in one way or another. Do you know why there are so many different religious beliefs about continuation? Because those beliefs are stories; they are not truth.

The truth is beyond any specific form and beyond mental identification with it.

Awakening is the end of mental identification with a specific form. When that identification ends, one sees one’s Self as life itself. In that realization, fear is impossible, because ‘end’ is impossible.

Yesterday, we looked at fear. We learned that fear is resistance, which means the way to overcome fear is willingness.

Resistance avoids change.
Willingness is open to change.

What is the change that we fear?

Ultimately, we fear losing our self. However, as today’s reading points out, the self we are afraid of losing is not our true Self. It is an imagined self. It is a collection of ideas about who we are. It’s thought, and nothing more than thought.

Our true Self is much more than thought.

In today’s reading, Holy Spirit says:

If I am to help you release your fear, I must teach you there is nothing to fear.

Holy Sprit does this in two primary ways:

1. Holy Spirit helps us become aware of thought. We notice that thought comes and goes. We notice that thought changes constantly, sometimes quite dramatically. We notice thought isn’t consistent. For example, thought takes a side and then changes sides. We notice that thought pretends to represent our best interests, but when we inquire more deeply, we see that isn’t true.

 

2. Holy Spirit helps us become aware of our true Self. We notice our true Self is always present. It is peaceful, naturally clear and wise. It is constant, changeless and consistent. When we focus on our true Self deeply, we realize inherent joy.

As we become more aware of both the false self and the true Self, we see more clearly which one we want and which one we don’t want.  That strengthens our willingness, which simultaneously weakens resistance. In other words, increased awareness is the path of gentle healing.

Note: Today’s reading interprets the story about Jesus being sentenced to crucifixion. If you’d like to read that story in the Bible, click here.

Before sharing a tip about today’s reading, I would like to review the following definitions:

Judgment– Comparing, and then favoring or rejecting. An example of ego judgment is comparing two possible solutions to a problem, and then choosing one solution over another.

Discernment– Comparing, and then favoring or rejecting. The difference between judgment and discernment is its purpose. The purpose of discernment is to reject ego and favor truth or ideas that point toward truth. An example of discernment is noticing that your mind is filled with worry about a particular situation, choosing to let go of (reject) worry and trust (favor) all is well even though you are facing the unknown.

Intuition– A feeling or sense that guides one to make sensible decisions without using judgment. The hallmark of intuition is the feeling to do or not do something without having mental reasons. An example of intuition is having the feeling to stop what you are doing and call a friend on the phone.

Guidance – Following the highest vibrational choice that is currently available. An example of guidance is the prompt to stop thinking and give your full attention to a friend who is speaking.

Resistance– Habitual or willful avoidance of change. Specifically, ego resistance avoids a rise in vibrational level, and it avoids awakening, which is the end of ego. An example of resistance is choosing to defend one’s way of thinking.

Willingness– Open to change. Specifically, spiritual willingness is open to change in order to achieve one’s spiritual aspiration. An example of willingness is being open to letting go of problem-solution thinking, because you realize that thinking is ego.

Today’s reading is about fear. From time-to-time, great fear can come over us as we move forward on the spiritual path. As today’s reading says:

Great fear is nothing more than great resistance.
And so the means for overcoming great fear is great willingness.
Great willingness comes from remembering what you want.

I have had several experiences of great fear that were directly related to my decision to awaken in this lifetime. In hindsight, I can see that fear was a loud cry from the ego-mind to avoid a change that would result in less ego control over me. If I had listened to fear, I would have remained an ego-controlled being. By choosing not to listen to fear, I took a step towards freedom.

Again, I can see that now, in hindsight. However, when I was in a situation of fear, that wasn’t so easy to see. The ego-mind screamed that I was heading for impending disaster. It shouted ever-so-convincingly that I needed to listen to it in order to be safe.

What did I do?

I used discernment to see ego as ego. I remembered that I wanted my spiritual aspiration above anything else, including safety, and then I focused on my willingness to follow-through with guidance and avoid falling prey to resistance. Rest-accept-trust was a key practice until the fear subsided.

Today’s reading says:

[When fear is strong,] this is a time for accepting that the world is not real.

I found that to be very important whenever great fear hit, because fear tempts us with everything that we’ve believed up until that point in our lives. In order to withstand fear, we need the willingness to trust that everything we have believed is mistaken. Without that faith, it might not be possible to resist the incredibly sly arguments thrown at us by the ego-mind.

There is one more thing that I found very helpful whenever I was faced with great fear:

Be okay with feeling fear.

Fear is one of the most unpleasant emotions that can arise in the human experience. Most humans will do almost anything to avoid feeling fear. That’s why the ego-mind uses fear to try and control us when we are on the verge of breaking free. It knows how much we dislike fear, and it knows that when all else fails, it can control us with fear. If we remain like most humans, who will do anything to avoid fear, the ego will control us with fear. If our goal is to avoid fear, as soon as fear arises, the ego-mind will provide a suggestion about how we can get out of fear, and we will listen. Again, we will listen if our goal is to avoid fear.

That’s why it’s important to be okay with fear. If I am willing to tolerate the feeling of fear when it’s with me, and if I maintain my spiritual aspiration as my goal, the ego cannot use fear to control me.

Fear is just a feeling. It’s an energy running through the body. It is entirely possible to watch the feeling of fear with awareness and notice that fear is nothing to be afraid of. When we learn to be with fear without fearing it, we take a giant step towards freedom, because one of the ego’s greatest weapons against our freedom is now ineffective.

Note: It may be useful to print this tip so it can be accessed easily when it’s needed.

 
Confusion

People often experience confusion during the awakening process, especially during the purification phase. One way to explain confusion is to say it is the ego’s defense against truth. However, let’s look more specifically at what’s really going on when we experience confusion.

Our old way of understanding things is mental. We think about something, and then we understand it.

With truth, it’s different. We can’t understand truth by thinking about it. Understanding comes from seeing, which is different than thinking.

When we begin to live by the new habits of the spiritual path, we begin to have moments of seeing. In those moments, clarity comes, and we feel clear. However, when we step back into the old habit of thinking, what was clear becomes muddled again, because we are no longer seeing, we are thinking.

As we learn to think about truth less and rely on seeing more, we experience less confusion and more clarity.

What is Seeing?

Seeing is the result of being in the right-mind, just like thinking is the result of being in the wrong-mind. You cannot see with the wrong-mind. The wrong-mind is blind and cannot see.

In order to see more consistently:

1. Discern between the wrong-mind and the right-mind.
2. Let go of the wrong-mind simply because it is the wrong-mind.
3. Maintain a way of being that is in harmony with the right-mind.

When we maintain a way of being that is in harmony with the right-mind, we see naturally.

How to Recognize the Wrong-Mind

The wrong-mind can be recognized by specific characteristics, including:

• Ideas of less than and better than, desired and undesired
• Ideas of good and bad, should be and shouldn’t be
• Perceptions of guilt, victimhood and blame
• Spinning, struggling or habitual thinking
• Conflicted feelings or perceiving conflict
• Anger, hatred, attacking thoughts
• Feeling or perceiving rejection
• Fear, worry, uneasiness
• Defensiveness
• Confusion

Whenever you inquire into an upset and find any of these characteristics at the core of your thinking or at the root of your perception, it means you are in the wrong-mind. That alone is a good reason to drop your way of thinking. Move into rest-accept-trust and the willingness to be healed.

You can see these mistaken ideas very quickly. A long drawn out inquiry process isn’t necessary.

For example:

Imagine some friends are coming to stay with me for a couple of days. Although I am excited to see them, my mind is thrown into a frenzy thinking about the house cleaning I need to do, worrying about the meals I will prepare, and deciding and then doubting my decisions about what we will do while they are here.

Is this the wrong-mind or the right-mind?

If I look, I see  that thinking is spinning constantly. That is a characteristic of the wrong-mind.

I see  worry about the meals. Worry is a characteristic of the wrong-mind.

I see  confusion about what to do while they are here. Confusion is a characteristic of the wrong-mind.

I can journal into my thinking to get more clarity, but if I am willing to let go of the wrong-mind simply because it is the wrong-mind, I already have the clarity I need. Now, I can move into rest-accept-trust. Once I feel more settled into a sense of peace, trust or well being, I can tune into intuition and let it guide me moment-by-moment. If needed, I will maintain a more peaceful way of being by reminding myself to follow intuition one step at a time and trust that all is well.

Note: It may be helpful to print this tip for future reference.

Today’s reading follows up on the interpretation of the parable about The Vineyard and the Tenants, which we read on Day 85. Today’s reading uses logic to encourage us to inquire about the validity of our belief in separation, our belief in guilt, and our sense of fear.

What is validity? An idea is valid if it has a sound or well-grounded basis in logic or fact. An idea that does not meet this criterion is not valid; it is fallacious, meaning false or mistaken.

We hold onto to our belief in separation, our belief in guilt and unworthiness, and our sense of fear, because we believe they are all valid. If the Holy Spirit can lead us to inquire deeply into these ideas, we will discover they are not valid; they are fallacious. When we see for ourselves that these ideas are fallacious, we can let them go. As long as we believe they are valid, we will hold onto them. This is why inquiry is so important.

Enlightened inquiry alone leads to liberation.
~ Ramana Maharshi