Tip for Lesson 33 and beyond:

Today we are doing the meditation, “There is another way of looking at the world.” As you do the meditation, the ego may utilize a trick. The trick is letting the lesson slide back and be repeated in the background of attention while thoughts sneak forward to reclaim the foreground of attention. Be aware of this and do not let it happen. Put your heart on the lesson so it remains in the foreground as you survey thoughts, which should be at a further distance. 

Workbook Lesson 22, What I see is a form of vengeance

“Vengeance” is retaliation for something. It could be called returning like for like.

The world as “a form of vengeance” comes from the thinking-seeing loop. For example, if there is an idea in the mind that I am not as good as others, I begin looking out at the world through the filter of that idea, and I perceive others who are smarter, prettier, more committed, etc. This ‘seeing’ strengthens my idea about me.

One day my boss says to me, “I don’t think you put 100% of your effort into this project. You must not understand how important it is to our success.”

When the boss says this I experience a quick feeling of shame, which morphs into embarrassment and then anger. I walk away thinking angry thoughts about the boss. I think about how the boss doesn’t understand just how difficult that project was. I think about how no one else helped me with the project. I decide everyone on the team is out for their own success. There’s no teamwork here!

I begin to look around the office and notice the cliques that have formed. There are small groups of people who band together, but overall there is a complete breakdown of team.

I feel myself getting angrier.

One day I notice a woman I work with glance at me as I walk by with an armful of new contracts that need to be reviewed. She quickly turns around and says something that I can’t hear to the person at the next desk.

Oh, I know what she said! They are talking about how incompetent I am. They are talking about how I never review the contracts thoroughly enough. But do they offer to help? NO!!!!!!

Hatred begins to boil within me. I start to hate my job. I dread walking into that place everyday. I decide I need to find another job. … And the story continues.

This loop of retaliation in my mind makes the world of vengeance that I perceive.

However it is also more than that, because I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts, and I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing. As I give attention to the thoughts and perceptions in my ‘personal’ world, I activate them with spirit, and the spirit of those thoughts and perceptions (unworthiness, anger, hatred, victimhood, etc) go out into the world and are shared. They become manifest as other thoughts, as other perceptions and as circumstances in form.

This is why today’s workbook exercise ends with the question, “Is this the world I really want to see?” That question is intended to generate heart-willingness within us, so we will have the desire to step out of our old habits, which is the thinking-seeing loop, and step into new habits, new ways of casting attention.

First comes willingness. New habits are born out of genuine willingness.

Workbook Lesson 23, I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts

 I am so excited about today’s workbook lesson. This lesson tells us exactly how to heal, and it tells us “this way cannot fail.” Let me outline the steps to healing that are outlined in this workbook lesson.

1. “You must learn that it is [attack thoughts] you do not want.” Although this sentence is stated in the negative, ‘you do not want’, it is a statement of desire. Our first step in healing is to want healing. Honestly, the more we want healing, the more we will heal. If you feel that it is possible that you do not want healing enough, it is very good to put contemplative-effort, inquiry-effort and awareness-effort into increasing your desire for freedom (for healing). You can do this by noticing how much you are suffering and/or how much others are suffering while continually asking yourself questions like, “Is this the world I want to see?”As you recognize that you do not want suffering, the desire for freedom increases. However, remember we saw that the brain is re-programmed best with a positive goal. So, the awareness that you do not want suffering is used to drive up the awareness that you do want freedom, happiness, love, etc. And then focus on the positive goal. Any positive goal that feels genuine for you and that motivates you to spiritual practice is good.
2. “This change [from attack to love, darkness to light, illusion to truth] requires, first, that the cause be identified and then let go, so that it can be replaced. The first two steps in the process require your cooperation. The final one does not.” Without stating it directly, this is talking about Rest, Accept and Trust.First the cause needs to be identified. The cause is casting attention on thoughts that have been received by the mind. Sometimes the thought comes in and we cast attention on it so quickly, that we never see the thought. Our first indication that we have cast attention on a thought is the emotion we are feeling. Rest and Accept is what we do when we notice we have slipped into the cause by casting attention on a thought (or thought stream). Rest and Accept is how we let go. Rest is the opposite of casting more attention. Accept is the opposite of repressing a false belief in the form of emotion. Through resting the mind and accepting the emotion as it is, we let it go. Trust is realizing that Rest-Accept is the only part of the healing process that requires our cooperation.
3. “Hold each attack thought in the mind as you say [the workbook lesson for the day].” One challenge to healing is that the neural pathways in our brain are so well formed that they are like waterslides. The “attack thoughts” slip by so fast that we do not really see them. It’s like our brain is on automatic pilot.Let me give you an analogy. When you first learned to drive a car, you had to really pay attention to everything you did. “Put the key in. Now put your feet on the break. Turn the key in the ignition. That’s enough; let go of the key. Keep your foot on the brake and put the car in reverse. Turn and look over your shoulder. Now move your foot from the brake to the gas and give it just a little gas; not too much; back out slowly, etc. …”Now you don’t have to give so much attention to driving. You can carry on a conversation with someone and do all of this pretty efficiently because neural pathways have been formed in your brain. Your brain can almost drive a car without your attention, and unfortunately sometimes it does drive a car without your attention. That’s an example of how the brain can operate on auto-pilot because of well-formed neural pathways.

   The brain can also believe thoughts on auto-pilot because a neural pathway has been formed for those types of thoughts. If a completely alien thought is received for which there is no neural pathway, it will call to your attention so a value-decision can be made, but if you have already formed grooves in your brain for a certain type of thought, the brain doesn’t need your attention to process that thought through the already formed neural pathway.

   However, the brain does need your attention to stop a thought from sliding down an old neural pathway, and it does need your attention to create a new neural pathway. This is why you have to hold a thought in awareness as you say the workbook lesson for the day.

   Imagine the thought as a child who is about to go down a waterslide that is too dangerous for the child’s age. You need to reach out, grab the child and then gently redirect it to an age-appropriate slide.

   That’s similar to what we are doing as we heal (reprogram the brain). We reach out and grab the thought with our awareness and hold it still so it doesn’t slide down the old neural pathway, and then by holding it as we say the current day’s workbook lesson, we redirect it to a new neural pathway.

   The new neural pathway is a different type of waterslide. Instead of a waterslide of belief, which tosses the thought back into our oneness to be shared and sent back to us, the new one is a waterslide that takes the thought to the exit door, and the thought drops out of the game. A Course in Miracles calls this process “forgiveness.”

4. “There is no point in trying to change the world. It is incapable of change because it is merely an effect. But there is indeed a point in changing your thoughts about the world. Here you are changing the cause.”When we give too much attention to the world, we are not giving attention to our thoughts and they are rushing around splashing down the old neural pathways doing what we have already trained them to do. Since we are not alone in experiencing the effects of our thoughts, the world continues to turn in the same way that it always has. If we want to have a positive effect on the world, we must turn our attention inward and give healing attention to the image-maker, the process of casting attention that goes on within our minds.This morning when I turned on my computer, I saw these two headlines. “U.S. President Donald Trump tells the Mexican President to stop the ‘bad hombres’ or he’ll order the U.S. military to do the job,” and “Trump blasts ‘dumb’ Australia refugee deal.”

   The thoughts I saw in my mind were, “He’s so dumb,” and “He’s insulting leaders and creating enemies everywhere.” My thinking along these lines did not go any further than that because I immediately gave these first two thoughts healing attention. I held them in my awareness as I said slowly, “I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts about Donald Trump.” And then I released those thoughts to slide down the new waterslide that I had just redirected them toward, the healing slide that goes to the exit door.

Workbook Lesson 26, My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability

Today’s workbook lesson says, “…what would have effects through you must also have effects on you. It is this law that will ultimately save you, but you are misusing it now. You must therefore learn how it can be used for your own best interests.”

This is referring to the Law of Love, which we learned about in NTI Ephesians last week. The mind receives an idea. If we cast attention on it, we activate it and deliver it to our oneness (which ACIM calls projection). What we deliver, we also receive.

That can also be summed up with, “What I think I see (project); What I see, I experience; What I experience, I think.” Etc.

Today’s workbook lessons says “this law will ultimately save you.” The Rules for Decision from ACIM are beginning steps in helping us use this law for our true best interests.

The exercise that is introduced in today’s workbook lesson is an incredibly helpful exercise. This exercise can work in a way that is similar to Root Cause Inquiry. For example, I woke up late this morning so I am doing my Gentle Healing Homework instead of being in the Sanctuary this morning. I noticed a bit of concern about not being in the Sanctuary, so I practiced today’s exercise on that. Here’s how it worked:

“I am concerned about not being in the Sanctuary. I am concerned people will think I don’t care. I am concerned that if they think I don’t care, they won’t care. I am concerned if they don’t care, they will quit coming. I am concerned if they quit coming, Awakening Together will fall apart. I am concerned Awakening Together will end. I am concerned I will not have direction in my life. I am concerned I will be nothing. That thought is an attack upon myself.”

Do you see how letting one fear into awareness naturally led to the next underlying fear until finally a root fear was gently exposed? That is why the workbook lesson says, “As the list of anticipated outcomes for each situation continues, you will probably find some of them, especially those that occur to you toward the end, less acceptable to you.” That is because the ones that occur near the end may be the ideas you have been denying.

This is very exciting to me. This exercise allows hidden ideas to come up into the light of awareness where they can be healed, and it happens in a very natural, gentle way. Today’s exercise is really valuable. However, don’t work too hard at trying to expose denied thoughts. Just practice the exercise gently, and see what appears.

Workbook Lesson 16, I have no neutral thoughts

Here are some definitions to consider while contemplating NTI Ephesians, especially chapters 3 & 4:

mind – a conscious substratum or factor in the universe; a complex of elements that feels, perceives, thinks, wills and especially reasons. (Note: A “complex” is a whole made up of complicated or interrelated parts. One definition of “reasons” is the sum of intellectual powers.)

spirit – an activating or essential principle that influences

Christ = consciousness. consciousness – the totality of conscious states (Note: A “state” is a mode or condition of being. In the Alan Watts audio, Alan refers to everything as consciousness, including rocks.)

This week’s reading and audio are worthy of deep contemplation, and they are highly related to today’s workbook lesson. Today’s workbook lesson says, “There is no more self-contradictory concept than that of ‘idle thoughts.’ What gives rise to the perception of a whole world can hardly be called idle. Every thought you have contributes to truth or to illusion; either it extends the truth or it multiplies illusions.”

NTI Ephesians likens the totality of what we are to a body. So does Alan Watts. Alan refers to each person as being like a nerve ending in the body, which feeds back into the body’s central mechanism.

According to NTI Ephesians, this body is made up of mind and spirit, which really cannot be separated but are spoken of separately in order to help us gain understanding. The “mind” is referred to as “the great receiver.” The “spirit” is the great deliver. We are also told that each individual is a microcosm of this same mode of functioning.

Since we perceive ourselves as individuals, it is probably easier to look at this from the individual perspective first.

“Mind is the great receiver.” On an individual basis, this means that the thoughts that come into your mind are not really thought by you. They are received from the mind (the central system) of the totality. This is why yesterday’s workbook lesson said “you think you think.” You do not think thoughts. You receive thoughts, and then you either cast attention on them or you don’t.

When you receive a thought, the first decision that is made is whether this thought is worth attention or not. If it is decided that the thought is worth attention, attention is given. Attention is spirit, an activating agent. Once you cast attention onto a thought that has been received by mind, that thought is re-activated and sent back into the central system where it can be delivered as an influencing agent throughout consciousness. (Note: NTI calls the totality “Christ”, but “consciousness” is the appropriate non-religious term.)

So if we put this all together, here is an example of how this ‘loop’ works.

I receive a thought of attack in my mind. Maybe it shows up as a thought about the president or a thought about his protestors. I decide that thought is worthy of my attention and I cast attention on that thought. By casting attention on the thought, I reactivate the spirit of the thought, which is attack. This sends the spirit of attack back into the central system and it is redistributed upon the totality. It shows up in many ways: It shows up in the minds of others as attack thoughts, who most often will strengthen it by casting attention upon it; it shows up as violence and war on the world scene; it shows up as cancer in bodies; it shows up as one animal killing another for survival; it shows up as weeds taking over a landscape killing all of the other plants; it shows up as a violent storm, etc.

Or as another example, I receive a right-minded thought in my mind, like the thought to rest, accept and trust. This time, I decide this thought is worthy of my attention, and I cast attention deeply and consciously upon it. This idea of resting from false thoughts is blessed with the activating agent of my spirit and sent back to the central system. It is redistributed upon the totality and shows up in a variety of ways. Someone is given a spiritual book by a friend, and it ignites a new curiosity. Another who has been struggling in the spiritual path intellectually has his/her first genuine realization from within, and the spark of truth-seeking is reignited with new vigor; another person awakens; another begins teaching from the flow of spontaneous wisdom; a female lion feels compassion for an injured calf and protects it so it can heal in peace; a forest that was burnt down begins to regrow; a woman’s cancer spontaneously heals; a scientist suddenly realizes a cure for a disease that has plagued humans for generations; a polluted atmosphere begins to spontaneously regenerate itself, a new beautiful song comes through a young songwriter, etc.

NTI says there is a shift occurring. It is a shift from wanting something different than truth to wanting to know our truth. It also says, “Determine where within the the shift you choose to be And join the operation of the body there.”

There are no neutral thoughts. How will you cast attention?

Workbook Lesson 17, I see no neutral things

 If my memory serves me correctly, the first time I did this workbook lesson I didn’t fully believe it. For example, I thought I saw a neutral wall or a neutral TV or a neutral trashcan. That was only because my judgments were much more repressed then. This time, as I looked about me, it was as if I could remember (not specifically, but generally) all of my judgments about walls and TVs and trashcans, etc.

For example, I remember thinking that one friend should not paint her walls, and in that thought there was a judgment against her. There was a judgment that she was wrong for wanting her walls to be different. I thought she should be happy with ‘what is’ instead of needing to change it.

I’ve also thought that people shouldn’t want big TVs, and I have thought that some TVs are too small. (The mind is fickle.)

Workbook Lesson 17 reminded me of the reading from NTI Luke 12, which said:

“Whenever you look at anything with the body’s eyes, there are thoughts in your mind about that thing. If you look at a chair, for example, you may think it is pretty, worn out, available, desired, not desired, clean, dirty, etc. etc. The thoughts that come into your mind seem automatic, without any awareness or evaluation on your part. You may make judgments about the chair based on your thoughts, and you may choose to sit there or not sit there based on your judgment. But you never look at, evaluate or question the thought you hold about the chair, and that is only a chair.

“The process that you call thinking, of which you are mostly unaware, goes on within your mind regarding everything in your world. You make unevaluated judgments about the work you do, the relationships you have, the pastimes you choose and the person you think of as yourself. These unevaluated judgments define everything and everyone within your world. And they are allowed within your mind without your awareness, your questioning or your evaluation.”

In NTI Romans 2, we learned that judgment creates experience and experience covers/hides truth. In Ephesians we learned that the experience we create is shared with the entire world, which keeps passing the experience around through the process of unevaluated believing (casting attention). Somewhere, sometime, someone needs to begin evaluating the thoughts that are received and deciding if attention should be cast there or not. And that someone is me. That time is now. It happens here.

I am grateful that my unevaluated judgments are coming out of repression. If I can see them, I can consciously evaluate them. If I do not see them, the loop of unconscious sharing continues.

 Workbook Lesson 20, I am determined to see

Yesterday I got an email from a man who had heard numbers indicating how rare awakening is. His question was, “Do I have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting free?” Here was my answer:

In the Gentle Healing Group, I am leading people to Inner Peace, Consistent Joy and Love for All. I am doing that because I know from my own experience that it IS absolutely possible for any human who wants that, for anyone who wants to come to that point of realization.

The key in the paragraph above is the wanting.

Although most people don’t realize it, we always get what we want. It’s just that humans do not understand what ‘wanting’ looks like. ‘Wanting’ and ‘casting attention’ are the same thing.

Think of your mind as a TV with many, many channels, and you get to pick the channel you want to watch. What programs do you watch in the mind all day?

As NTI Ephesians has taught, when we cast our attention on a thought that has been received, it is activated by spirit, sent out into the oneness for manifestation, and it comes back too. We always receive what we cast attention upon. Casting attention is wanting, and we always get what we want.

So with today’s workbook lesson, we are taking beginning steps toward casting our attention differently. Today we practice once every half-hour casting our attention on the idea, “I am determined to see.” When our attention is on this thought with our whole heart, whole mind and whole soul … when this is the only channel we watch… we will see. We have to, because getting what we want is the nature of what we are. We always get what we want; we are already free.

I’d like to comment on something from the Alan Watts audio, “The Spiritual Journey as the Self.” In the audio, Alan Watts points out that dreaming and awakeness are simultaneous. The ego-centric consciousness that experiences the dream is at the surface of consciousness. It is a form of consciousness, but not the totality of consciousness. At the same time that this form of consciousness experiences the dream, awake-consciousness exists as itself without a dream.

This is why Jesus said, “The kingdom of Heaven is within.” The ego-centric consciousness is at the surface of consciousness, experiencing the dream, like the waves of the ocean are at the surface of the ocean experiencing the weather, but when you go within and get to the bottom of the limited ego-centric consciousness, you reach its edge. This would be like diving deep into the ocean and getting to the point where the day’s weather has no more effect; you can no longer tell if it is a sunny day or stormy day, because the sea at this level is unaffected.

When you go beyond the edge of ego-centric consciousness, you cross a threshold. That is figuratively the ego’s death. Beyond that threshold, you find present awakeness. This awakeness is not found by moving forward in time to the day when you are finally awake, but by going deeper into the present where awakeness already is.

 

 

Workbook Lesson 9, I see nothing as it is now

The three most recent workbook lessons are “I see only the past,” “My mind is preoccupied by past thoughts,” and today’s lesson, “I see nothing as it is now.” The first three chapters of NTI Romans give some context for these workbook lessons.

According to NTI Romans, Chapter 2, judgment, which means decision, is the tool we use to create experience. This statement does not need to be taken on faith. This statement can be directly explored by watching our minds and experiences very carefully and noticing the relationship between them.

If I decide I don’t like someone’s attitude, what experience do I have?

If I decide that I have been rude and thoughtless, what experience do I have?

If I decide it should be as hot/cold as it is outside today, what experience do I have?

If I decide I should not have eaten that piece of cake, what experience do I have?

If I decide to let all things be as they are, what experience do I have?

If I decide to focus on the consciousness in myself and every person I meet, what experience do I have?

It takes very little looking to see there is a direct relationship between judgment/decision and experience.

This teaching is also a review of last week’s reading assignment in NTI Luke Chapters 12, 16 & 17. That reading said that everything is given meaning by the thinker. We make an unevaluated judgment about something, and then that is the meaning it has for us. As Romans goes on to add, we then experience the effects of the unevaluated judgment we have made. This is a very simple summary of how we go about creating our experience, through one unevaluated judgment after another. NTI Luke also tells us that we then take an unevaluated judgment and reapply it when a similar set of circumstances arises. Or as the Course workbook says, “I see only the past.”

If we look, this process can be seen as true even if we adhere to the idea that the world is real and I am a person. Even in a ‘very real world’ as a ‘person’ at least the vast majority of my experience comes from my own decisions. However, both NTI Luke and NTI Romans take this further.

NTI Luke says that we experience separation because we decided things are separate from one another. We decided not to see them as whole. NTI Romans goes even further. In NTI Romans there is only one essence, which we might call ‘God.’ Within this essence, a creative question arose and was seen as having value.

There’s nothing wrong with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a creative God. What a wonderful step in the natural growth or evolution of all-that-is!

But according to NTI Romans, something went wrong when two ideas arose in this creative mind. One idea was to notice that everything created is still the essence of God, since the essence of God is all-that-is. This option would have allowed creative play alongside remembrance of truth. The other option was the idea that something major had just changed. The essence that was ceased to be and something else had come into existence. According to NTI Romans, the ‘caster of attention’ cast its attention on this second idea, decided this option was true, and truth was forgotten as attention began a very deep journey into fantasy.

Is this true? As I sit here as an apparent 56-year old woman in my living room typing on a computer keyboard, can I look and see if there is some truth to this story?

I can see this much. It is true that I make decisions by casting attention. Thoughts come into the mind. I do not actually ‘think’ them. They appear. Some of them seem to capture my interest, and I cast attention on them. Typically, casting attention is followed by a value judgment or decision. The first value judgment or decision is simply, “This idea is meaningful.” From there, attention goes more deeply into the idea and makes additional judgments like this is good or bad, I like it or don’t like it, I can allow it or I need to change it, etc. Regardless of what those follow on decisions are, they lead deeper into the game of that thought and that thought becomes a ‘real’ part of my ‘world.’

This is the exact process that NTI Romans just described, and I can see that this process plays out over and over again with my mind.

NTI Luke talks about “unevaluated judgments.”

NTI Romans refers to “judgment without basis.”

I feel like just looking at those to statements, contemplatively casting my attention there for a few moments.

The Commentary on Mind from The Teachings of Inner Ramana says that mind cannot be ignored entirely because it is the tool of perception. NTI Romans agrees with this if we see mind, judgment and decision as synonymous. Without mind, perception would not be. Mind (judgment, decision) is a tool that allows God to be creative. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. The problem comes from unevaluated judgments and judgment without basis. The problem comes from being on auto-pilot instead of being a conscious creator (caster of attention & decision maker).

“I see only the past.”

“My mind is preoccupied by past thoughts.”

“I see nothing as it is now.”

Everything I see comes from unevaluated judgments I have made topped off with reapplying that same unevaluated meaning when similar circumstances arise. That is judgment without basis, the cause of delusion.

“… all you need do is unweave your way out of fantasy. You reverse the ‘laws’ that made it by ceasing to play the game.”

Rest, accept/allow and trust. Let go of judgment without basis.

Workbook Lesson 10, My thoughts do not mean anything

NTI Romans, Chapter 4 says, “Existence is Love, and Love is existence.” I don’t feel this is something to think about. Thinking can argue against this fact and keep us blind to its truth. I think this is something that is discovered through practices like awareness-watching-awareness and the loving consciousness methods of meditation. However, I see this as a fact. Existence (or being) and love are absolutely synonymous.

According to the online Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, existence is “reality opposed to appearance.”

The thinking mind may argue that existence is not love. It may argue that existence is hell. That is certainly the experience for some individuals, but that is because they are focused on appearance, not reality, especially the appearance of thought.

The energy of thought is not existence. It is appearance. The online Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines appearance as an “external show.”

The early workbook lessons are helping us discover that our thoughts are an external show. For example, today’s workbook lesson (10) says, “you might imagine that you are watching an oddly assorted procession going by, which has little if any personal meaning for you.”

The problem is that attention has become so engrossed in the external show that it does not know the difference between what it is and the show it watches. But there is a difference between the essence of attention and the show it watches. Being unaware of this difference is delusion. Discovering this difference is freedom.

Workbook Lesson 11, My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world

Jesus was my first model of spiritual perfection. Of course, that is common for someone raised in the western world. Had I been raised elsewhere it might have been Buddha, Krishna, Elijah or Muhammad, for example. It doesn’t really matter what symbol represents spiritual perfection. The point of NTI Romans, Chapter 6 is that the idea of spiritual perfection exists in my mind because spiritual perfection is within me.

If we were to get very specific, we would say, “I am spiritual perfection.” That is the truth. However, most spiritual students see spiritual perfection as a goal, so although NTI Romans does say, “This is your truth,” it also points within as the direction to go to realize spiritual perfection.

Because Jesus was my first model of spiritual perfection, and because NTI is based on the New Testament, Jesus is used as the symbol of spiritual perfection in NTI. We are told that Jesus (spiritual perfection) is in us. We are told that we are Jesus (spiritual perfection). We are also told that Jesus represents our true desire (spiritual perfection). NTI Romans, Chapter 6 says:

“…the model that rises to the top of your mind is the symbol of the man called Jesus. This is because Jesus represents your true desire. Jesus is the freedom you want to be. Everything else that floats within the universe of the mind is from a past desire and is not your current desire now.”

Our recent Course lessons have told us “I see only the past” and “My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.” As we did the mind searching the workbook exercises required, we may have been able to see that we were thinking about circumstances from our past. However, we might have also seen ideas about the future.

NTI Romans explains how all of our thoughts are from the past. All of our thoughts, whether they are from memory or imagination, are the echo of the desire to experience something other than truth (NTI Romans 2). That is a past desire.

When we cast attention on thoughts about the world as if it is real and about ‘me’ as if I am this person, we give attention to a past desire to experience ourselves as something other than our truth. More than that, we give attention to a past desire to believe ourselves to be something other than our truth.

That is a past desire, not our current desire. Our current desire is to realize truth.

When we look at the world, we look through the filter of our mind. (NTI Luke)

Our mind is preoccupied with the past. (ACIM Workbook)

The past is meaningless to us now, because it isn’t our current desire or purpose. It has no value for us. Yet, we continue to give those thoughts value. Therefore, our meaningless thoughts are showing us a meaningless world, a world of untruth when we seek truth.

NTI Romans 6 says, “You may let the past go. You need not keep anything you do not want. Focus your eyes on Jesus (your true desire) and know the love in your own Heart.

In order to let go of the meaningless thoughts that show us a meaningless world, we need to remember what we want now. That is the key. Remembering what we want now will help us transcend the habit (reprogram the brain) of casting attention on stories that represent a past desire, a desire that is meaningless to us now.

Workbook Lesson 13, A meaningless world engenders fear

Today’s lesson shares an idea that is really important for anyone who wants to awaken beyond the ego point-of-view.

“The ego rushes in frantically to establish its own ideas … fearful that the void may otherwise be used to demonstrate its own impotence and unreality. And on this alone it is correct. It is essential, therefore, that you learn to recognize the meaningless, and accept it without fear.”

This also tells us how we “unweave” our way out of fantasy. (Reference NTI Romans, Chapter 3.)

Politics, relationships, spiritual discussions and more present us with wonderful opportunities to see the opinions and beliefs we want to cling to and defend. If we pay close attention we can feel the energy arise within that “I must make this point,” “prove that I am right” or get the other one to “see it my way.” This energy is the ego rushing in frantically to establish its own ideas so that it remains potent, seeming real and ‘me.’

If we want to unweave our way out of fantasy, it is “essential, therefore, that you learn to recognize the meaningless, and accept it without fear.” In other words, feel that energy rushing forth inside of us and do nothing to satisfy it. Hold back on our opinion. Do not try to prove we are right. Let the other have their point of view. Etc.

Feel the ego squirm. Rest, accept and trust. Let it squirm. Do nothing. The threads are pulled out of the ego tapestry as we become comfortable with not placing meaning on everything we perceive.

Note: One fun exercise today might be to write down the things that seem important to you, the things you’ve noticed yourself feeling fired up about recently, and then look at the list you have written and say to yourself, “I am looking at a meaningless world. A meaningless world engenders fear because I think I am in competition with God.” This may help you to rest, accept and trust instead of rushing forth with opinions and defense in those same or similar circumstances in the future.

Workbook Lesson 14, God did not create a meaningless world

Some important comments about Workbook Lesson 14:

When one does this workbook lesson, it is helpful to do it with the attitude of wanting to uncover false beliefs and see through them to truth/reality.

There is another attitude that is not helpful to healing. It is an attitude that comes from fear. It is an attitude of denial and repression. It is the attitude that avoids looking too hard and denies feeling/experience to the best of its ability. It is the attitude that has become cliché regarding the ACIM or non-duality student: A person’s family member dies and the ACIM/non-dual student says, “He/she was just an illusion anyway.”

That sick form of denial is not what we are after with this workbook lesson. We seek truth by seeing through illusion.

Here are a couple of tips that might help you practice today’s workbook lesson with a healing attitude.

NTI Romans 2 says that we made the building block of “judgment, or decision, and this became a new creative force. It allowed for experience without creation.” If we equate the word “creation” in this sentence with truth or reality, experience is something different from truth. However, experience is experienced. If you don’t believe me, pinch yourself or slap yourself in the face. You felt it. Right? It was experienced.

When doing workbook lesson 14, you aren’t denying that the ‘horrors’ are experienced, because they are. You are simply denying that they are truth or reality. This is necessary, because in order to see what is real, first you must remove your belief that the horrors are reality.

Here’s another way to look at it: NTI Romans 2 says that the illusion began with a curiosity. Well, we are going to use that same tool, curiosity, to help unweave our way out of illusion. The curiosity we are using is “What is reality?” or “What is truth?”

When you say, “God did not create that war, and so it is not real,” realize war is experienced, but experience is not reality. Something else is reality. Have the willingness to see right through suffering to truth. Have the curiosity, “What is real?” Let that curiosity grow in you so that it becomes a motivating force within you.

In short, do not deny that experience is experienced, but be intensely curious to see and know truth.

Hi Everyone,

I decided to share these notes from my Week One Gentle Healing Journal because it may be helpful to some of you as you walk through the purification process. I will continue to share anything from my journal that I feel may be helpful. You can share from your journals in The Forum for your Gentle Healing Group, if you want to.

Note that I do not journal everyday at this point in the process. As we go deeper into the Year 1, I will journal everyday.

Love, Regina

Day 1

 I just completed Lesson 1 for the morning. I noticed that the mind did not want to focus on the reading of Lesson 1. During the exercise it wanted to run ahead of the item I was on and pick the next item for the exercise. I also briefly noticed meanings that had been given to objects. I could see that the mind seeks identification with pretty nails, sore feet, cluttered tabletop, etc. I could also see that the purpose of these meaningless identifications is identification of awareness with thought. The meaningless identifications, whether they are positive or negative identifications, have the purpose of marrying awareness with thought as if ‘I am thought.’

Workbook Lesson 1 asks us to make no allowance for difference in the kinds of things to which today’s idea applies. As I see it, that is because there is only one purpose at work in every attached meaning, and that is identifying awareness with thought.

The instructions for Workbook Lesson 1 say that the exercise should not be ritualistic. The mind has the ability to repeat something, like a trained monkey repeating tricks. This could be called mindless mind. In mindless mind, awareness is distracted. For example, I can say, “That TV does not mean anything” while thinking about an email I need to write later today. This distraction is an ego preservation technique, because nothing is seen in the process. In other words, awareness has not become aware. When nothing is seen, nothing is healed.

The instructions also say “a comfortable sense of leisure is essential.” The comfortable sense of leisure is the peace that comes when awareness is fully present. With this “comfortable sense of leisure,” seeing happens.

In The Way of Mastery, Lesson 1, it was said, “I have done all this; I must undo it.” But it is important to note that it also said, “But I have no idea how I did this. Therefore, I must surrender to something else.”

The mind, which has the purpose of identifying awareness with thought, cannot be trusted to heal this misidentification. Something else must guide this healing process. That is intuitive wisdom, which comes from the part of awareness that is not identified with thought. Intuitive wisdom is much more subtle than thought, but it is very clear in its wisdom.

(From this point forward, I will use the term “attention” to refer to the part of awareness that is identified with thought and the term “clear awareness” to refer to the part of awareness that is not identified with thought.)

NTI Luke, Chapter 12 says, “What you are focused on, and have always been focused on, is thought. In every moment in your seeming interaction with the world, you are focused on thought.”

In the previous sentence, clear awareness is talking to attention. The “you” in the sentence is attention.

You, attention are focused on thought.

Clear awareness is pointing out the misidentification that has occurred.

Day 2

NTI teaches that everything we experience on the path of healing is either willingness or resistance. It equates willingness with joy and resistance with delay.

Willingness is the quality or state of being prepared to do something.

Joy is the emotion evoked by well-being.

The student of healing wants to learn the difference between the feeling of willingness/joy/well-being and the feeling of resistance.

Willingness could be said to be a feeling that might say (if it had a voice), “Okay. I see what is going on here. This is not comfortable, but I have decided to heal. Therefore, I am grateful for this healing opportunity, which is presenting itself now.” That attitude has readiness and well-being in it; therefore it is willingness/joy.

Resistance can be experienced in a variety of ways, but it does not have readiness or the sense of well-being in it. Some examples of resistance are believing you are guilty or unworthy, being worried, blaming another, getting defensive, being distrustful, fearing the future, resenting authority, stress and not wanting to do your spiritual practice.

NTI Luke, Chapter 12, recommends, “When resistance arises in your mind in any form, let it go immediately in gratitude as valueless.” This describes a method of returning to willingness.

A return to willingness may start with remembering that you want healing. That may be followed by remembering that in order for something to heal, it needs to be seen (brought into awareness). You can feel grateful that this has been brought into awareness so it can be healed. You can remember you have given this all the meaning it has for you, and then you can choose to rest from that meaning. Resting from meaning (resting from believing) gives clear awareness the opportunity to heal the misidentification of attention with thought. (It allows the old neural pathway to dry up and enables a new, healthier neural pathway to be drawn in the brain.)

Be aware that healing occurs through recognition (seeing) and resting. That is your job in healing. Clear awareness does the rest. (Clear awareness can be equated to the Holy Spirit.)

Rest, Accept and Trust (RAT) is a simple reminder of your job in the healing process.

1. Rest the mind by withdrawing your attention/belief from obsessive thinking. If that is challenging, try positive healing-focused self-talk such as, “Ok, just breathe now. Take a deep breath. Now another. This is okay. This is coming up now because I have decided to heal. I want to heal. And in order to heal, things must come up. I am happy this is here, but I do not want to give it my attention. I want to rest attention away from this so it can be healed. I will focus attention on my breath. I trust healing is happening. I am happy for this opportunity.” Etcetera or something similar.
2. Accept the feeling. Allow it to be. Realize that as this feeing comes into awareness and is seen, it is healing. Stay out of the way. Do not try to change anything. It is just a feeling, an emotional energy and nothing more. Let it be as it is. Be grateful that healing is mysteriously occurring.
3. Trust that healing is occurring. You have done your part by resting and accepting. Clear awareness (God, Holy Spirit) is taking care of everything else. You have gotten out of the way so healing can happen. That is all you were asked to do.

Day 3  

The brain is reprogrammed as attention’s misidentification with thought is healed. There are some things we can do to assist in the reprogramming of the brain.

1. An open-heart increases efficacy. Examples of an open heart are:
   1. Have a positive spiritual aspiration or purpose. For example, one may want to see with the eyes of God or know Love as the only reality.Note: If your goal has a negative focus such as, “I want to stop suffering,” consider a positive focus that feels genuine and authentic for you. For example, you may want freedom, happiness or lightness. A positive goal is much more effective than a negative goal because attention is focused on the ideas stated in your goal. It is much better to have attention focused on the idea of freedom or lightness than it is to have attention focused on the idea of suffering.
   2. Maintain a sense of well-being. One way to maintain a sense of well-being when the crap is coming up is to remember that the thought-stream or emotion is coming into awareness because you want to heal. Remembering that healing is what you want is extremely helpful.
   3. Trust that healing is occurring.
2. Repetition & practice with new programming. Examples of new programming include resting the mind, remembering the daily lesson, thinking about your spiritual aspiration, etc.
3. Visualization. For example, imagine yourself resting the mind, imagine yourself remembering to do the workbook lessons, imagine yourself wanting awakening/truth more than anything else, etc. The brain cannot tell the difference between something real and something imagined. Research shows that anytime you are thinking (including imagining) you are engaged in conditioning neural pathways.
4. Meditation. Meditation is concentrated rest away from mental activity. Therefore, it gives clear awareness ample time to heal the mind.
5. Observe/watch old programming without feeding it. Be aware of it, but don’t believe it and don’t fight against it. As you observe old programming in action, watch with a sense of curiosity. Become familiar with your triggers. For example, you might watch old programming to discover what it feels like in your body just before an old neural pathway begins to fire. (e.g., What happens in me just before I scream at my daughter?)
6. Discover how you can stay motivated to stick with gentle healing because you want to. Healing is an authentic journey for you when you are aware that you are on this journey because you want to be here.