Steady our feet, our Father. Let our doubts be quiet and our holy minds be still, and speak to us. We have no words to give to You. We would but listen to Your Word, and make it ours. Lead our practicing as does a father lead a little child along a way he does not understand. Yet does he follow, sure that he is safe because his father leads the way for him.

So do we bring our practicing to You. And if we stumble, You will raise us up. If we forget the way, we count upon Your sure remembering. We wander off, but You will not forget to call us back. Quicken our footsteps now, that we may walk more certainly and quickly unto You. And we accept the Word You offer us to unify our practicing, as we review the thoughts that You have given us.

Review Lesson 172:

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

(153) In my defenselessness my safety lies.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

(154) I am among the ministers of God.

Today we begin our fifth review period. The review introduction says, “This time we are ready to give more effort and more time to what we undertake … that we may go on again more certain, more sincere, with faith upheld more surely.”

There is a beautiful prayer in the review introduction, one you may want to read at the beginning of each day of this review period:

Steady our feet, our Father. Let our doubts be quiet and our holy minds be still, and speak to us. We have no words to give to You. We would but listen to Your Word, and make it ours. Lead our practicing as does a father lead a little child along a way he does not understand. Yet does he follow, sure that he is safe because his father leads the way for him.

So do we bring our practicing to You. And if we stumble, You will raise us up. If we forget the way, we count upon Your sure remembering. We wander off, but You will not forget to call us back. Quicken our footsteps now, that we may walk more certainly and quickly unto You. And we accept the Word You offer us to unify our practicing, as we review the thoughts that You have given us.

And then we are asked to contemplate this thought as we review lessons 151-170:

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

Here is my recommendation for this review:

1. Begin each day with the prayer above. Let yourself feel how much you want your practice to be individually guided from within.
2. Spend a few minutes with the day’s review lesson, silently being with the words for that day’s review, and then feel for what you are to do next. A few possibilities are:
   1. You may feel to contemplate the review lesson and write what comes to you during contemplation.
   2. You may feel to review the tips from the lessons that are reviewed on that day.
   3. You may feel to practice self-inquiry through journaling regarding some thoughts in your mind.
   4. You may feel to go directly into awareness-watching-awareness meditation.
   5. You may have a feeling to practice the review lesson in some specific way throughout your day.

Trust whatever comes to you. Remember you have prayed for guidance to lead your practice. Remember that guidance is always individualized to fit each person perfectly, and then trust the guidance that comes to you each day of this review period.

For your convenience, I will provide links to my tips for each lesson that is reviewed throughout this review period.

“Let us raise our hearts from dust to life” as we let intuition guide our individual practice throughout this review period.

And now for Review Lesson 171:

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

(151) All things are echoes of the Voice for God.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

(152) The power of decision is my own.

God is but Love, and therefore so am I.

The sole purpose of today’s lesson is to encourage us to give up attack.

First, the lesson helps us look with clarity at why we attack. It’s because we are afraid, and we think we can protect ourselves through attack. (Note: Our attack could be acted out, like raising our voice with someone, or it could be internal, like thinking attack thoughts about someone.)

Second, the lesson points out that when we attack, fear is protected, not escaped. This is the same teaching as in The Untethered Soul. It says, “You’re locking your illness inside yourself, and it will only get worse … if you protect yourself, you will never be free. It’s that simple.”

Finally, the lesson recommends that we save ourselves “more delay and needless misery than you can possibly imagine” by giving up attack.

Attack is a habit, and like any habit, it isn’t easy to give up. However, we can give up attack. I am writing this as someone who has successfully given up that particular habit, and the habit of attack was as strong in me as it is in anyone. In fact, this workbook lesson was my least favorite workbook lesson, because I thought I was cruel. I thought cruelty was at the base of my nature. It wasn’t. There is no cruelty in my nature, and there is none in yours. All attack comes from attachment to thought.

How do we give up attack? First, we need the desire to give it up. Once we have the desire, we follow-through by doing our best each and every time the energy of attack arises in us. If we keep trying, eventually the habit of attack dies.

Remember, when you give something your attention and belief, it is increased. When you take away attention and belief, it dies. This means the more you give in to the energy of attack, the more the energy of attack arises. As you begin to resist the urge to attack by watching the energy with a centered state of mind, it weakens. If you keep up the practice of resisting attack as the observer, that energy eventually dies.

The desire to give up attack has to come first. It needs to be a heart-felt desire, not merely another thought. One way to evoke a heart-felt desire to give up attack is to pay more attention when you do attack. Pay attention to how you feel when you attack. Pay attention to the general energy that is occurring in the relationship when you attack. Is this the feel you really want in your life?

It’s important to look at attack with reason and to ask, “Is this what I want?” We attack because we think it serves us. We need to realize it doesn’t serve us. We want to be infused with the joy of God, not the feelings of attack.

It is also helpful to inquire to discover what is at the root of our attack episodes. For example, let’s assume we’ve done a root cause inquiry and found our sense of unworthiness at the root of one episode. Whatever we give our attention and belief to is energized and increased. Or as The Untethered Soul puts it, we lock that illness inside of ourselves, and it will only get worse. Is that what we want to do, energize and increase our sense of unworthiness? If not, we need to learn not to give in to it.

This is one example of how the movie, Little Buddha, was important to me. When rage would rise in me, and I felt the urge to attack, I would remember Buddha sitting under the tree watching all of the fury that Mara threw out at him. Buddha didn’t give in to those energies, and he didn’t run from them. He silently watched them. He watched them with the awareness that the energies were not his nature. He watched with the knowledge that he wanted to be free (purified) of those energies.

It’s important to realize that there is no cruelty in you. Attack is not a part of your nature. It’s an effect of attachment to thought. Learn to abide as your Self, the centered watcher, and the impermanent energy that was born through belief and involvement will die. Patience, compassion, wisdom and love, which are your nature, will arise naturally in its absence.

Here’s a 14-minute synopsis of the movie, Little Buddha. The inspiring scene that is mentioned above begins at 10 minutes and 30 seconds:

Today’s lesson begins by telling us “grace cannot come until the mind prepares itself for true acceptance.” And then it goes on to say, “Grace becomes inevitable instantly in those who have prepared a table” for it.

Yesterday, we looked at Steve Ford’s experience of grace. We saw his readiness demonstrated by how he allowed the experience to complete itself, even when the ego threatened him with madness or death if he were to continue. Even to that he consented. He was fully ready.

What we are doing now is preparing ourselves for the same state of readiness. Each time we see the ego in others or ourselves, we have an opportunity to prepare ourselves. Each time we feel upset, we have an opportunity to prepare ourselves. Each moment of paying attention to awareness is another moment preparing ourselves. We are in the stage of preparing the mind to consent to awakening when grace comes.

There is an interesting paragraph in today’s lesson. Let’s look at it together. It says:

“We have appeared to contradict our statement that the revelation of the Father and the Son as One has been already set. But we have also said the mind determines when that time will be, and has determined it. And yet we urge you to bear witness to the Word of God to hasten the experience of truth, …”

This paragraph appears to make three contradictory statements.

1 – The time for your awakening has already been set and written into the script.

2 – Your soul-mind has decided when your awakening will be.

3 – Through your willingness, the awakening experience can be hastened; it can come sooner rather than later.

Which is true? Can they all three be true?

NTI says, “This play has many endings, like slits cut in the script, where one can choose to step out of the play.” Maybe that is true; maybe there are many possibilities.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what’s true. I don’t know anything about how awakening comes about. And this is the perspective I encourage you to accept as your own.

You see, the mind likes to believe ideas. It gets its identity from believing ideas, including believing spiritual ideas. It wants to decide what it believes about awakening, and by doing so, it subtly claims that idea as ‘mine.’ Each idea of ‘mine,’ strengthens the ‘I’ that is the ego. After all, ego is simply identification with thought.

Therefore, I encourage you not to adopt ideas about awakening. I encourage you not to make spiritual beliefs a part of your ego belief system. Instead, prepare your mind to accept the journey into the unknown, which is the journey of awakening, by getting comfortable living with not knowing now. Abstain from all schools of thought.

In fact, today’s lesson seems to encourage our decision to ‘not know’ when it says, “There is no need to further clarify what no one in the world can understand.” And then it lets us know that, “When your revelation to your oneness comes, it will be known and fully understood.”

“Suffice it, then, that you have work to do to play your part. The ending must remain obscure to you until your part is done.”

What is our part? Preparing ourselves to accept awakening. Let that be our only concern. It is the ego that becomes over-concerned with finding ways to be helpful. Helpfulness occurs naturally as we prepare ourselves for awakening.

So then, our part is this:

~ self-inquiry, which is inquiring into the ego thought system in order to see its ideas are not true and in order to see we are not the false-self, which is made through identification with thought.

~ Self-inquiry, which is glimpsing awareness many times throughout the day & spending more concentrated time in awareness-watching-awareness meditation

~ surrender, which is discerning between intuition and ego, and then following intuition instead of ego

Steve Ford described his awakening experience to Rick Archer in a Buddha at the Gas Pump interview in this way:

“I stood before God—Omnipresent Reality—with the true intention; I handed over my thinking in a prayer position, and there was a point where as I let go there was a slight sense of sadness, a slight sense of disappointment that I had with myself having to give the Creator my thinking back, because it felt like I’d done nothing with it. I felt very sad. I felt, “I’m sorry, but take the thinking back, because I’ve not done much good with this.” I felt I’d disappointed God. …

At that point, the mind began to open. It was a point where I’d let go of the tension of identification. Now, I didn’t know that at the time, but what I did was … I totally didn’t identify with the mind, because I knew mind was not real. … And at the point of knowing it is not real, it was still the scariest thing to let go of. So, letting go of that, I felt where I disidentified with it—where I let go of attachment to it as a reality principle—it started to open. Because the mind, when you are attached with it, becomes contracted. It’s like an energy, a tight contraction. And of course, when I was no longer attached with it, it just began to open up.

As it opened up, it went beyond the coordinate that I’d set on it, which is the egoic mark, the control you have on mind, the idea you have. And so as it began to open, it went beyond the idea of who I was as a mental construct, and so beyond the mental construct of who I thought I was. There was a fear. A fear of, “Oh, what’s going to happen here?” But I was so broken, so completely broken, [Note from Regina: This happened at a point when Steve was feeling complete desperation and failure in his life] that I just stayed with it. I thought, “Let’s just do it.”

It dissipated. I describe it as birds flying out of a tree. It felt like my thoughts just dissipated. All of the thoughts in my mind just flew away like a flock of birds. And just at that point, there was this opening. The thoughts went and the mind just became this blank screen, and there was this perfect observation of blank screen.

I remember, for the first time in my life, coming to know peace of mind. … You know when they say, “The mind is the sky and the thoughts are clouds.” It really is! That is exactly how it was. Suddenly, there was this infinite sky of mind, which became… It’s like a projection screen. But what is observing that is this pure awareness, this pure consciousness.

And at that point, I realized, “Ah! I’m not mad. I’m not dead. I’ve not disappeared. I am observing this. And I’m observing from this undifferentiated awareness. And the mind became the perfect reflection of what was observing, which was nothing. Emptiness, you see?

This happened! [He snaps his finger.] There was no thinking!

At that point, I remember suddenly being pulled into a deeper idea, which was an emotional idea, because we have layers of thought. We have the thought that is very abstract [points at the head], the thought that is emotional, and we have the thought that is very physical, the body. I didn’t know this then, but this is what happened. So suddenly there was a pull to a deeper aspect of contraction within my body. You see, the mind opened up, so suddenly there was nothing to keep me from entering what I call the heart area. Suddenly there was a pull, and I felt myself as formless consciousness coming down into my heart area. And as I was going down, I just stayed with formless consciousness. There was no egoic “I” anymore, no mental construct of doership anymore. … As I was going into the heart, … suddenly the heart begins to open because I wasn’t doing anything with it [Comment from Regina: There was no longer a doer trying to keep the heart from opening.], … and as it begins to open there was a pain, but it was a clean pain. A pain where there was no suffering, because suffering is in the mind, you see. …

As I felt this pain, it was like the pain of the world. … This voice came from nowhere; it was like a voice from within this. It said, “You’ve been running away from this all your life.”

And I understood then, I’d been running away from my heart opening. I had remained in what I knew all my life. Suddenly, I am going beyond what I knew. I’d done that with the mind, but now on this level, the emotional level, this was on a much deeper level. The emotional attachment we have for things is much deeper and is much stronger, you see. [Said with a look of seriousness.]

And then it opened up, and all there was, was a void. Going beyond the emotional contraction of my identity, there was just this void. It was absolutely black.

I don’t want to appear too dramatic. I don’t want to frighten anyone. But for me, I then was facing this very dark void. And then this void was pulling me in.

As I was being pulled into this vortex, this void, there was another voice came in. It said, “You’ll either go mad or you’ll die.” And I consented. I said, “Okay.” Not verbally, but in my innermost. Intentionally, I said okay. And I was pulled into this vortex, this very dark vortex, and as I got pulled in, it just felt like the whole thing opened up, and as I got pulled in there was a point where I truly did not exist; for no time! It was like a [claps his hands together once]!

As soon as I got pulled in, I could then see From. And at that point, there was a point of absolute death, complete death of attachments. There was no attachment anymore to the mental structure or the emotional structure, so much so that everything had opened up and it truly reflected what was directly observing. And the void, in fact, was a reflection of the absolute. [He smiles.] …

I could see. I could see, basically. And I could see from a completely, completely different reality base to what I was before. Totally.”

I shared this description of Steve’s awakening, because today’s workbook lesson asks us to, “Request Him now to give the means by which this world will disappear, and vision first will come, with knowledge but an instant later.” We are told, “This the gift by which God leans to us and lifts us up, taking salvation’s final step Himself. All steps but this we learn instructed by His Voice. But finally He comes Himself, and takes us in His Arms and sweeps away the cobwebs of our sleep.”

We are asked to ask God to awaken us.

Steve says in his interview with Rick Archer, “This is something you can’t just go and do. It has to do with timing, to do with pressure. In that moment, what was going on inside of me, I was falling apart. There was absolutely no sense of authenticity. … I just thought, “Okay. I’ll let go of my thinking.” And for some reason it worked. … I could tell someone else, ‘Go, get on your knees now and hand over your thinking. It will just go away and you’ll be fine,’ and it just doesn’t work that way. Because then the ego says, “Right. I’m going to get it now.” [Note from Regina: The ego’s perspective is getting. Steve’s intention was letting go, even to the point of death.]

As Steve points out, it may not work if we ask today for God’s grace of awakening, because it may be the ego that is asking. If one feels completely ready for the death of the ego, the time is right. If the ego wants awakening for itself, the time is not right.

So, what do we do with today’s lesson? My recommendation is a day of deep contemplation and sincere prayer. Read Steve’s description and contemplate it. If you like, watch his video. I will post it below. Read today’s Course lesson and contemplate it. If you have The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, read Chapter 7 and contemplate that. If you feel drawn to some other video or book, then trust your feeling and contemplate that. Get as deep into your sincere heart as you can today, and pray the prayers that are sincere for you.

Here is the link to the Steve Ford interview. If you do not have time for the entire interview, start at 44 minutes and listen for at least 15 minutes.

Death is defined in the dictionary as, “the permanent ending of vital processes.”

Vital is defined as, “full of energy, lively.”

Process is defined as “a natural series of changes.”

This means that death would be the permanent end of life-energy in all of its forms. Anyone who is willing to look with reason can see that death has never occurred. Life-energy in all of its forms has never ceased. It is just as the old saying says, “Life keeps going.” It’s true that transitions occur. Change is always happening at the level of form. But life itself cannot end.

Awakening is realizing that all of life is life itself, ongoing, and not the temporary form.

Today’s workbook lesson defines death as an idea, and nothing more. It says this idea “underlies all feelings that are not supremely happy.” That is because happiness is a natural characteristic of life aware of itself. Whenever we are not supremely happy, our attention is distracted from our truth as life.

Let’s look at how this is experienced.

Imagine I am unhappy because my daughter prefers to stay in her room instead of joining the rest of the family for a day of activity. First, I look to see what I am feeling specifically. I notice that I feel a sense of loss, like something is missing from this day. In my perception, the day is not perfect because of my daughter’s decision.

I recognize that the idea “today is not perfect” is the wish for something different. I continue the practice from yesterday’s workbook lesson, and I pause to appreciate awareness-life-presence. I let go of all thoughts about my daughter’s decision, and I reflect deeply on the perfection of awareness-life-presence as it is.

After a few moments of appreciating awareness-life-presence, I look back at the idea that there is loss today. Is that true? Did I find loss in awareness-life-presence as I reflected on it? No, there was no loss in awareness-life-presence. It was exactly the same as it always is. The idea of loss was just a thought in my mind. I was able to experience it to the degree that I let my attention focus on it, but that idea has no affect on awareness-life-presence.

Let’s practice in this way today. Whenever you notice that you are not happy, take these steps:

1 – Look briefly to get some clarity regarding the specific feeling of unhappiness. (e.g., In the example above, the unhappiness was specifically a feeling of loss.)

2 – Look at the specific feeling, and notice it is a form of the wish for something different. You might ask yourself, “Do I think I would be happier if this was different than it is?” If the answer is yes, it is the wish for something different.

3 – Shift your attention to notice and appreciate awareness-life-presence for a few moments. During this time, let go of your thoughts about the situation related to your unhappiness. Give full, restful attention to noticing awareness-life-presence as it is.

4 – Next, look with reason to see if the specific feeling of unhappiness is a fact that was noticed in awareness-life-presence or just a thought in the mind. (For example, if the feeling is rejection, is there any rejection found in awareness-life-presence or is awareness-life-presence the same as it always is? If the specific feeling is guilt, is there any guilt found in awareness-life-presence? Etcetera.)

5 – With the recognition that there was no affect on awareness-life-presence, say to yourself, “There is one life, and that I share with God.”

Note: If you feel you do not have time to look at unhappiness fully during the day, you may go back to it with your journal at the end of the day.

As mentioned during my tip for lesson 164, NTI teaches that the ego began with the wish for something different than what is. Because that is the basis of the ego, that is a key element of the ego thought system. If you pay attention to your mind, you will see that this idea shows up in one form or another multiple times each day.

Every time we think we do not have enough, there is the wish for something different.

Every time we complain about how things are, there is the wish for something different.

Every time we resist a task we need to complete, there is the wish for something different.

Every time we judge ourselves or someone else as not good enough, there is the wish for something different.

Etcetera.

Today’s lesson talks about he who “wanders on in misery and poverty, alone though God is with him, and a treasure his so great that everything the world contains is valueless before its magnitude.”

The treasure “so great that everything the world contains is valueless before its magnitude” is awareness-life-presence.

Reflect upon that for a moment. Without awareness-life-presence, nothing would be. The sound of a bird’s song or the sound of waves rolling onto the beach, the sight of a beautiful sunset or the sight of a herd of deer moving through the pines—nothing that symbolizes the treasure of life could be without awareness-life-presence. Awareness-life-presence is the basis of everything we treasure, and therefore it is the greatest treasure of all.

We wander alone “in misery and poverty” whenever we listen to the ego thought system with the wish for something different at its foundation. We are not satisfied with the treasure of awareness-life-presence. Instead, we choose unhappiness as we seek for something different. Even after change occurs, we seek for something different again. Therefore, one who is focused on the ego thought system is never happy for long, because the wish for something different continues to heckle him/her.

Today we will shift our attention from unhappiness to happiness, from the wish for something different to appreciation for the magnificent treasure that is always present.

Each time you notice the wish for something different in your mind today, pause. Shift your attention to awareness-life-presence, and spend a few moments appreciating it. Be as vigilant in this practice as you can be. I say this, because the wish for something different is a strong habit; it could occur many times during the day without you noticing it.

For example, the wish for something different may show up as the wish for more time to get things done, or as the wish for fewer things to do. It may show up as the wish for less traffic or a shorter line at the grocery store. It may show up as the wish that someone around you were different than he/she is. It may show up as the wish that you were different or that your body was different. It may show up as the wish that the world was different than it is.

Pay attention today for the wish for something different in whatever way it shows up in your thoughts, and then shift attention to notice the treasure. Let yourself feel appreciation for awareness-life-presence. Follow that by slowly saying to yourself, “I am entrusted with the gifts of God.”

Since Lesson 156, I walk with God in perfect holiness, we have spent the majority of our days noticing awareness-life-presence. We have noticed it is always present. We have noticed it is what we are. And yet, most of us do not fully realize our Self as awareness-life-presence. Why?

The answer is, the mind denies truth, and we continue to believe the mind.

Here are some common doubt thoughts that arise in the mind of a spiritual aspirant:

~ I do not want truth enough.

~ I do not practice well enough.

~ The truth is out of reach.

~ I do not give enough time to practice in order to realize truth.

~ I do not know what truth is.

~ I will never realize truth.

~ I am not good enough to realize truth.

~ Truth does not exist.

All of these doubt thoughts deny truth. When any one of these thoughts is believed, it keeps us from noticing awareness-life-presence now. And as yesterday’s lesson said, “What time but now can truth be recognized? The present is the only time there is. And so today, this instant, now, we come to look upon what is forever there.”

Today’s workbook lesson encourages us to practice with hope, because hope counteracts doubt.

What if we replaced every thought of doubt with a thought of hope? For example, we could replace, “I do not want truth enough” with “I must want truth more than I think, because spirituality is an ongoing focus in my life.”

Which do you think benefits the purpose of awakening more: negative thoughts of doubt or positive thoughts of hope? Which do you think benefits the ego more?

Let’s do two things today:

1 – Pay particular attention to discover the thoughts of doubt that you listen to. Look at those thoughts with reason, meaning notice that those thoughts serve the ego and discourage spiritual aspiration. Look for reasonable thoughts of hope to replace them with, thoughts that encourage you instead of discouraging you.

2 – Continue to notice awareness-life-presence. Throughout the day, each time you remember, take a moment to notice that you are aware and you exist. Even when you are distracted from awareness-life-presence by doubt, you are still aware and you still exist. Doubt does not change the truth; it only denies it.

Yesterday we compared the impermanence of problems with the eternal nature of the Self. Today, we will continue to focus on the Self. Today, we will let our desires remind us to turn our attention to life-presence.

Today’s lesson encourages us to be faithful in our practice. It says, “Faithfulness in practicing today will bring rewards so great and so completely different from all things you sought before, that you will know that here your treasure is, and here your rest. Now is the balance righted, … The valuable and the valueless are both perceived and recognized for what they are. … Open the curtain in your practicing by merely letting go all things you think you want. … Is not Christ’s vision worthy to be sought above the world’s unsatisfying goals? Let not today slip by without the gifts it holds for you …; you can exchange all suffering for joy this very day. Practice in earnest, and the gift is yours.”

Here is how we shall practice in earnest today:

Whenever you notice that attention has gone to a desire, whether it seems to be a small, insignificant desire or a bigger, seemingly more important one, pause. Turn attention inward to life-presence. Be aware of awareness. Look at it. Does it have a desire now or is it simply presently being? Rest with attention on awareness-life-presence, noticing it for a few moments.

After spending a few moments noticing life-presence, notice that desire comes from attention on thought, not from awareness-life-presence. Notice that awareness-life-presence simply is. Notice that thought wants something different or something more.

Earlier this year, we read NTI Romans, Chapters 2 & 3. These chapters described the beginning of the ego as the wish for something different than what is.

As you look, notice that wish for something different than what is, is in thought. And then look again at awareness-life-presence. Notice that awareness-life-presence is what is. Notice it is always present, simply being what it is.

Notice thought is an object that you can be interested in or not interested in, but either way, thought is not you. You are the one interested or not interested in thought. Notice you are awareness-life-presence. Say to yourself slowly, “Now I am one with my Source.”