First, this mind believed it was a self in a process toward the goal of peace. Then one day it had an experience while meditating that Truth is right here. It was the Holy Instant and It was breathtaking. This mind realized that in meditation, and in everything else, it always reached for Truth. And in that reaching it over-reached Truth and missed It because Truth is right here. It was like when the self looks for the mustard in the refrigerator but does not see it because the mustard is right in front of it and the self is looking past it to find it.
And then the awareness of the immediate Presence of Truth was gone. Each day in meditation this mind tried to be present and experience the Truth again but could not. It could remember the experience but not conjure it. How long did this go on? Months? Years? Then it happened again and this mind would think, “This is it. This is all I need to experience. This is all I need to remember. Stop reaching. It’s here now.” And then…It couldn’t make it happen again. More months, maybe years, before this mind had the experience again. But then, over a long, long time, it began to happen more often. And this mind began to take the awareness that “Truth is here now” into the unfolding of each day. “It’s here,” it would remind itself throughout the day and it would just be with It. If this mind couldn’t experience Truth it still reminded itself that Truth is here. This mind does not need to experience Truth for Truth to be.
Over a long time this mind re-trained itself to stop reaching, to stop thinking in terms of a goal, to just stop and be present to Truth. If this mind reached for peace it missed peace because peace is here. If this mind set up peace as a goal it would obtain in the future it put distance between itself and peace because peace is here now. And, over that long time, all that reaching and goal-setting diminished until it finally ceased. The Truth is here now and so is this mind. This mind no longer has anything for which to reach.
But there is still something in this mind that is in a process and that still seems to be learning. This mind has come to understand that actually time was over for it many, many years ago when it first allowed Truth into its awareness. Since then all it has been doing is accepting this fact. And now that it has accepted it, it can see that the self and its story was only ever an effect. Originally the self’s life in the world was an expression (effect) of the idea of not-Truth. Then, when this mind allowed Truth into its awareness, the story of the self became an expression (effect) of the-undoing-of-the-idea-of-not-Truth. And that part of the story is still going on. But this mind is learning to no longer confuse itself with the story. The unfolding story of the self is just an idea in its mind that it observes while it rests in the present in peace.
