I have had fear most of my life

And what is it I fear?

Not getting what I want

And getting what I don’t want

And what are these fears specifically about?

Fears of lack: not enough money, possessions, love, or time

Fears of the body: discomfort, old age, pain, sickness and death

As long as I believe I am a vulnerable separate body

I am attached to worldly concerns

And I am in fear

Stuck in the prison of the vulnerable ephemeral self

Now it’s time to step out

From the jail cell of separation and death

The door is not locked

Fear is not accepting things as they are.

Not accepting things as they are, is the root cause of all suffering.

The Law of Love explains that everything I experience, I asked for.

Everything I experience is happening for me, not to me.

Everything I experience is God’s will for me

To fear is to resist God’s will

To fear is to be confused and delusional

To fear is to not know who I am

Fear casts out rationality

When I look at all the fear thoughts I’ve experienced,

99.9% of the time, what I feared never happened.

They were completely in the mind

I suffered for no reason

The other tiny fraction of the time,

What I feared did happen, and it turned out to be exactly what I needed.

My fear has always been irrational.

Fear casts out rationality

My body may be vulnerable, but I am not vulnerable.

If I believe what is not true, I perceive fear as real.

If I know who I am, there is nothing to fear

It is my “need to control mind” that is fearful

Fear casts out rationality

Only surrender and trust is rational

If I knew who walked beside me,

Fear would be impossible.

Fear is only a symptom

The root cause is my belief I am separate from God

But It is impossible that I could be separate from my Creator

My fear has cast out rationality.

Jesus submitted to crucifixion without fear

Knowing he was never born and will never die

Confirming this in the resurrection

What an inspiring demonstration of “thy will, not my will.”

Knowing he was not a body, there was nothing to fear.

What an example of complete trust and surrender.

Like for Jesus, my script is already written

What is there to be afraid of?

My fear has cast out rationality.

I can choose:

I can believe something is wrong

Or I can trust that what happens is God’s plan for me

And be grateful for all experiences

I can believe fear thoughts

Or just let them go.

Knowing they are false and irrational

Abandon fear

Do not let it cover the light of my Self.

Do not let my fear cast out rationality.

God, I know I am not separate and your light and love always shines on me.  Grant me the courage to never again let any worldly situation bring me into fear.  Grant me the strength and wisdom to let go of my ephemeral worldly attachments, which have no real value, and instead look to God’s abundant treasures, which are always freely given and eternal.

Amen.

For most of our lives, we believe that the causes of suffering are outside of ourselves. To us, bad circumstances = suffering. Starting from the time we are young, this is how it appears to be. A friend calls us a mean name and causes our suffering. We fail to get the job we want which causes our suffering. We recognize the toxicity of an important relationship and believe this person has caused our suffering. Indeed, this is how I experienced suffering for the majority of my life—that is, until I became aware of fundamental suffering, or the roots of our pain.

What Is Fundamental Suffering?

When we take a closer look at our suffering, we might notice something funny going on—we’re confused about what actually causes our pain. The true causes of our suffering are not within the experience itself. Rather, suffering originates within us. 

This is not to discount our perspective that others have hurt us. Indeed, there are many situations where removing ourselves from the harmful behavior of others is the right action. It is only to say that our experience of suffering is coming from our own mind (or ego). But if we explore even deeper than that, we can see that fundamental suffering—or the suffering that exists in all things—is really coming from three primary, overlapping experiences. 

Here is how I would describe the experiences that cause fundamental suffering:

Aversion or Unsatisfactoriness

We experience aversion constantly: I don’t want this outcome. I don’t want this experience. I don’t want this emotion. Aversion touches even the most minute actions, thoughts, or sensations. My hands are slightly too cold. I should have used this word instead of that word. I’m just so tired of thinking. All of this is aversion, and it is one of the roots of suffering. I now see that there is no circumstance that can make me happy because aversion is dissatisfied with everything.

Example: I’m in the most beautiful place watching a beautiful sunset and I get bit by a mosquito. Aversion focuses on the mosquito bite.

Attachment or Wanting

Attachment is just the opposite: I want this outcome. I want this object. I want this experience. I need a bit more money to be happy. If she would just listen to me, I’d feel like I matter. If he only understood me, we’d get along. We are attached to what we perceive to be good because we think it will produce happiness. But when we watch our experiences carefully, we see that these things don’t actually produce happiness. I now see that suffering is not in the circumstances themselves; it’s in the wanting, clinging, and attachment to particular circumstances. 

Example: I’m joyfully singing along to a song, and my husband asks me to quiet down so he can hear the TV. I burst into tears. I witness the joy disintegrate into nothing, and I want it back.

Self-Concept or Identity

The self-concept overlaps with the other two kinds of suffering, but it’s helpful to notice it in its own right: I am this. I am that. If I tell myself that I am a nice person, I’d feel valid. If I believe that I am a soul, I’d feel less lonely. If I do what everyone wants me to do, I’d feel approved of. But no matter how we conceive of ourselves, we can never find the love or wholeness we’re seeking because love doesn't live in concepts. We suffer as we try to mold the self into something that would get the love it seeks. 

Example: My editor tells me my article is really good. My self-concept immediately claims it: “I’m a good writer”. I don’t realize I’ve identified with it until later when my editor tells me my article needs improvement. I suffer because this threatens the self-concept I have of being a “good writer.”

When Everything Appears As Suffering

When we begin to perceive the fundamental suffering inherent in our entire reality, we might feel depressed, lonely, empty, or unmotivated. So much of our lives were motivated by the desire to alleviate suffering. When we are no longer trying to avoid aversion, seek attachment, and create a self-concept, we can have a hard time figuring out what to do with our time.

For about a year now, I’ve been mulling about in a world that appears to be made entirely of fundamental suffering. Sometimes, it’s all I see. But every time I notice myself getting hooked on suffering, I apply concentrated awareness to gently release myself from its grasp. And over time, the pain has lessened. My ego no longer throws massive tantrums and bursts into tears. Now, it just broods quietly in the corner. 

The Antidote To Suffering

Each moment of concentrated awareness placed on suffering is painful for the separate self (or ego), but luckily, the separate self becomes less and less of who we are. If we keep at it, the truth of suffering becomes more apparent, and eventually, it starts to become transparent. 

It’s almost like suffering is a monster under our bed. If we just turn the lights on and look, we see that it was all in our heads—just a figment of our imagination. And now instead of seeing the monster, we see what was in the monster’s shadow: love. Life—when experienced without aversion, without attachment, and without self-inflation—is love. 

I’m just beginning to see the love that exists beyond suffering. Behind aversion is acceptance. Behind attachment is openness. Behind the separate self is unity. I have known these polarities intellectually, but by experiencing suffering in all sense objects, it is becoming increasingly clear that, for me at least, love is the answer. By embracing suffering fully I now see that love is the only worthwhile way to spend my time. Everything else seems meaningless. 

So if you’re still trapped in suffering—whether at the experience level or the fundamental level—try to remember that suffering presents an opportunity to finally understand the roots of your pain. And if you’re willing to dig up the roots, something amazing can grow: Love.

The existence of inner sounds is recognized by nearly every spiritual tradition. For example, across different texts, inner sounds may be called Anahata Nada, Shabda Brahman, sound current, cosmic sound, unstruck sound, divine ear, Aum, and other names, depending on the source. It is said to be the constant background noise of all things, present in every moment, every object, and every experience. Yet, I had never heard of the inner sound until I began hearing it myself.

Given most people, even those who are awakening, do not seem to hear the inner sounds, it is discussed rarely and often mistaken for tinnitus. So, in this article, I’ll share my personal experiences with inner sounds to help guide those who are drawn to the inner sound.

When I Began Hearing Inner Sounds 

After reading an Eckhart Tolle book, I began meditating for about an hour per day with a focus on sound—the sound of a tingsha bell ringing into silence, the sound of a train coming and then going, and even the sound of silence. About 2 months later, I noticed my first inner sound—a high-pitched bell-like ringing in my left ear while lying in bed at night. I asked my husband if he heard it and he said no. 

Shortly after, I realized I could hear another sound, a medium tone. Then I started hearing a rumbling sound that felt to be coming from lower down. And then, I heard what sounded like TV static coming from above my head. The static sounds like this:

Video: Anahata Nada Sound

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHShCOYGrQg

As I continued to listen to the 4 sounds, they became ever-present. I can and do hear them anytime I place my attention on them. Sometimes they are so loud that they make it difficult to sleep. And they tend to get louder when both when I’m very relaxed or when I’m very stressed. 

Finding Sublter Inner Sounds 

As I continued to watch the sounds, I would notice more of them. My favorite sound is the sound of waves crashing, but I have a hard time finding this sound. I also hear the sound that creates egoic thought—right before my mind begins one of its inner monologues, there is a kind of buzz. And, right before I fall asleep, I hear a beeping-like sound that creates the hypnagogic imagery of dream. It jars me awake and disappears as soon as the dream imagery disappears. 

It seems that the entire world—including thoughts—is made of sound vibrations. If we are just quiet enough, still enough, and attentive enough, we can hear the entire world.

As I continued to listen to the sounds (in meditation and in daily life), the more vibrational they became. You know like when you feel the base of a loudspeaker vibrating your whole body? It’s very much like that. My whole body now vibrates along with the inner sounds.

When The Inner Sound Finds You 

The discovery of inner sounds can be quite a shock—the universe was humming along our entire lives and we simply didn’t notice it! So, many people label their inner sounds as tinnitus and develop a negative relationship with them. Indeed, once we begin to hear the inner sounds, they can sometimes get quite loud and interfere with our day-to-day lives. If possible, try to view these inner sounds as a comforting backdrop to reality rather than an annoying noise that follows you around everywhere. 

I don’t yet know where the inner sound is taking me, so for now, I’m just along for the ride. 

To read more about the insights I’ve gained on this journey, feel free to explore my blog: https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/blog.html

The world you see is nothing but a fleeting spectacle—a dazzling display without substance, existing only as long as you choose to engage with it. It has no true cause or purpose, merely serving as a distraction for the unawakened mind. To the Self, or Atman, the world is simply a colorful play, enjoyed while it lasts but ultimately forgotten when it ends.

The only true reality is the observer, the Self, who remains untouched by the illusions and transient dramas of the world. The enlightened one, or Jnani, moves through life without being swayed by the oscillations of joy and sorrow, life and death. They understand that all of these experiences are just a part of the show—real only to those who are bound by them, but ultimately devoid of any lasting substance.

In the state of true realization, the Jnani experiences a profound, uncaused bliss—a happiness that is intrinsic, independent of external conditions. Unlike those who seek happiness through transient pleasures and fear suffering, the Jnani knows that their state of being is their own, untouched by the shifting tides of the world. This bliss is closer and more real than even the body, more intimate than the mind itself.

The world, in its entirety, arises from nothingness and eventually returns to nothingness. Yet, for those who are not awakened, it seems filled with creators, preservers, and destroyers—forces that govern their perception of reality. However, once you step into the state of Self-realization, these distinctions dissolve, and you come to see yourself in everything. The world’s illusions fade away, revealing the true nature of existence.

Though the Jnani perceives the world as others do, they do not believe themselves to be a part of it. They see it instead as an iridescent drop in the vast ocean of consciousness—a small, ephemeral reflection in the infinite expanse of awareness. As they journey through life, they grow increasingly peaceful, knowing that they are returning home. The burden of the body lessens with each passing day, and the mind becomes serene, free from desire and aversion. Every sensation is met with equanimity and an affectionate detachment, as the Jnani understands that these experiences are as fleeting as the world itself.

The suffering of the body may persist, but it is of no consequence. Whatever state the Jnani finds themselves in, they accept it as it is, recognizing it as merely a state of mind. They are neither the body nor the experiencer of the body; they are the pure awareness that underlies all experience. Outer events do not mold their inner state, for at the root of their being is a speck of intense light—pure consciousness. This light naturally radiates and creates images in space and events in time, effortlessly and spontaneously. When the mind becomes active, distinctions arise, and with them, pleasure and pain. But in the stillness of pure awareness, these dualities cease to exist.

The liberated one is alone, yet they are all. They are not a being, but the very essence of beingness in all things. Even this description falls short, for they are beyond words and concepts, the ground from which all existence springs.

Everyone dies as they live. But the Jnani is not afraid of death, for they are not afraid of life. They live a life of true happiness and will die a death free from fear. Misery comes from the illusion of birth, not from death. In reality, the Jnani was never born, and so they cannot grow old. What appears to others as a person is merely a projection in their minds. The Jnani is not concerned with such illusions.

In my world, no one is born, and no one dies. Life’s journey is just a dream, and the only reality is waking up from it. Recognizing the ‘I am’ as the ultimate reality is enough. This realization is the seed of Self-awareness, which, once planted, will inevitably grow into the mighty tree of enlightenment, no matter how long it takes.